The Bowser Party!
by King Bowser Forever
Summary: Bowser has made a party for no reason in HIS castle! He even invited Mario! Will they wreck the place? Author's Note Inside.
1. Introduction

**The Bowser Party: OH YEAH!**

No, I don't own any Mario Characters. I wish I owned Bowser. Dreams.

Bowser: "Keep dreamin' buddy."

KBF: "Why should I?"

"Cause' you love me."

"Yeah but you can't-"

"Shut up and get to my party!"

"Fine. You don't own me."

"_**What was that**_?!"

"Nothing."

Dear insert name here,

You have been invited to a special party! Isn't that nice. It'll be hosted by none other than Bowser! There will be fun, games, and BEER! Bring all the beer you can! Oh yeah, NO! I won't be kidnapping Peach! I'm not into that anymore! But, if something's stolen or damaged, that's not my fault, now is it? Mabye. By the way, we're gonna be playing a classical Mario Party game, except better minigames, twists, and prizes! Yes, Wario, the beer I supply will be FREE, fatass.

Sincerely,

Bowser Koopa

I'm a mean drunk!

It was morning, and Mario and Luigi were waking up. Mario wiped the crust from his eyes and sat up on his bed. Then, he looked at Luigi, who was mimicking his movements. They caught that look again; that look that they made for….the bathroom!?

Mario: "You're not-a-getting it first today, bro."

Luigi: "Who says?"

"Me and this fist!"

"We'll see about that!"

"Oh ye!"

And the short race was on…for the bathroom...anyways-

Bowser: "Waaaait a minute…they're fighting…over the bathroom? I know they're fat plumbers, but really-"

KBF: "Wouldn't you?"

"Nevermind. Go on."

They both ran down the hallway, shoulder-to-shoulder, throwing punches back and forth.

Mario: "Ow, mama-#$#! That hurt!"

Luigi: "It better have."

"TAKE THIS!" BAM! Right in the face, a punch was landed. Luigi: DOWN.

"Ha HA!!! It's mine! Once again!" Unfortunately for Mario…he fell and broke his fat nose.

"EEEYYYOW!! Dammit…"

"Ha ha! Luigi wins this time! I'm-a-Luigi, Number 1!"

"Oh shut the hell up. I hate you."

"HA! Now go get tha mail. I wanna see what Daisy sent me!"

"Hmph, fine."

He walked down the stairs nest to him, and ran outside. There was a mailbox that looked like a…plunger…in which had some letters.

Mario ripped some open, and began to sort them out.

"Junk. Bill. Bill. BILL! Damn bills! Junk. Telephone bill? **16 hours on the phone per day!? WHAT THE FU-**Hey, what's this…?"

Suddenly, he saw an envelope with the address "Koopa Kingdom" on it and from "Bowser Koopa".

"From _**this**_ fatty? What the hell does he want…?" He opened it and began to read.

"Dear…bla-blah-blah, you have been invited blah-blah…hosted by….BOWSER!? there will be fun….and BEER!? Awsome! No, I…not be kidnapping Peach. You better not! Whoa, wait-LUIGI! LUIGI LISTEN TO THIS!!!

He ran inside to tell his bro the news. Meanwhile, Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi, Birdo, Toad, Toadette, DK, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong, Daisy, and of course Peach all got the same letters. And of course, they all had no reason to say no. So, they just said, "OH _**HELLZ **_YES!"(except for Peach) and accepted the invite. I bet they saw it as an opportunity to wreck the place and get free beer…oh well. Bowser's in for it…I think.

KBF: SO Bowser, whadja think of it so far?

Bowser: I like the party, but if they wreck my castle, I swear I'll…

KBF: Ooookaaayyy…yeah. End of chapter. Like it so far? Submit a review and give me some minigame ideas! I'll use almost any of them, except ones that Bowser won't let me…

Bowser: Cause' I control him.

KBF: _No_….

Bowser: _Yes_…

KBF: _N_-

Bowser: BAD AUTHOR! BAD!

KBF: Uh oh….sorry but I have to be punished now…see ya next chapter if you wanna...

Loud screaming, Bowser's evil laugh, flesh-slicing sounds, and pie


	2. FREE Beer!

**Chapter 2: Beer? OK!**

**Bowser: So, what's gonna happen in this chapter?**

**KBF: I can't tell you now…They're all watching….**

**Bowser: Who? Who's watching?**

**KBF: SHH! They'll read you.**

**Bowser: What the hell are you talking about?**

**KBF: THE READERS! I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT IT'S ABOUT NOW CAUSE THEY CAN SEE WHAT I TYPE! Oh crap…they read that…and that too! CRAP…**

**Bowser: I honestly don't understand this guy. He's the author, though. On to the story.**

Luigi: "Mario! Calm down! Speak in-a-english!"

Mario was still panting from running, yelling, reading, screaming, gasping, choking for air, standing, and thinking all at the same time.

Mario: (Cough Cough) "Ok…I got this letter from…guess who…"

"Bowser?"

"Of course…"

"(Sigh) Princess again?"

"Nope."

"Really? Then what?"

"Here. Read it-a-yourself."

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Peach and Daisy, on the other hand, were calm about this. Well, at least Peach was.

Daisy: "Wow! He invited us? Cool! So…are we gonna go?"

Peach: "Well…I guess…he said he wouldn't…but…

"Aww come on. Like he can actually do it with Mario and Luigi around."

"Hmm….I don't know…"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Luigi: "Wha?! Is he serious!? **FREE** beer!?"

Mario: "Yeah, and he said he wouldn't kidnap the Princess. Besides, I always kick his ass in the end. We'll be safe."

"Let's-a-go!"

"Wait Luigi, it's tonight, not-"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Toadette: "The red one, the pink one!"

Toad: "Oh, sorry. I just don't see why the red scarf isn't as good as-

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Diddy: "The ones we have over here. See? The six-packs, or the five-packs."

DK: "Well, we'll just take all of them."

Dixie: "I don't understand men and beer. But, I'll do it for fun."

DK: "Mmmkaayyy…..All set up for-"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Wario: "Tonight is gonna be awesome! FREE BEER! That fatassed turtle finally gave in to my awsomeness and-a-respects me!

Waluigi: **"**_**Oh, yeah, he TOTALLY respects you."**_

"I know he does. Watch, I'm gonna prove I can do anything! I'm gonna break a bottle right over his fat-"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Yoshi: "Head…ow…my head hurts…where did I go? Oh yeah! Bowser's party! Gotta get ready!! But first…BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone was off getting ready for Bowser's big party. But, did he have something sinister planned? Oh wait…no. He doesn't. He actually just wants to have a good time.

He was off getting ready too. But, getting ready wasn't exactly what it's described as…

Wendy: "Daddy! Can we go? Please?"

Bowser: "Sorry, but only the oldest koopas can go. Roy and Ludwig, that's it."

Morton: "Aww…but daddy! I'm old enough, right?"

"No, you can when you're older. You can't handle what's gonna go on in this party."

Ludwig: "Hey, don't worry, I'm zure zou'll have partiez like zis one when zou get older."

Bowser Jr: "But I'm still 5 years old…"

Bowser: "Aww, don't worry."

Bowser picked him up, and walked away from the group while Ludwig and Roy fought off the angered koopalings.

"I'm gonna teach you everything I know, a lot of the stuff they won't. Like Koopa Magic! Watch!"

All of a sudden, Bowser opened his hand, and a lollipop appeared in his palm 2 seconds after.

Bowser Jr: "Wow! Cool! Teach me Daddy!"

"You can't do it now. But in 2 years or so, Kammy and I can start training you!"

"Aww….I wish I was older.."

"Heh heh...now come on. Hey guys! Everyone but Roy and Ludwig, upstairs to Kammy, Now!"

Koopalings: "Aww…yes daddy…"

The Koops, except of course Roy and Ludwig, headed upstairs to Kammy. Kammy would put them to bed later, and help Bowser set up the party.

Bowser: "Ok, now you two are gonna help me set up, ok?"

Roy: "Uhh…I'm too lazy."

Ludwig: "I don't feel like it."

"DO IT OR YOU'RE NOT STAYING!"

Ludwig and Roy: "OKAY! OKAY!! Fine…"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------  
**

It was almost time and everyone was ready. Everyone bought so much beer, I don't feel like describing what they brought or how much!!!! Yay!!

**KBF: So?**

**Bowser: Awsome, I'd say. 2 reviews…and a minigame idea-**

**KBF: Which I might use.**

**Bowser: Who said this was going in my party?**

**KBF: Me.**

**Bowser: Obviously you don't want to get hurt. MABYE.**

**KBF: Okay. (Shakes) Click in next time for a new chapter!**

**Bowser: OBEY ME AUTHOR! YOU MUST KILL MARIO!**

**KBF: YES, MY MASTER.**


	3. The Arrivals

**The Arrivals**

**I think this is going well. Please review! If you didn't know, this is my first FanFiction!! I don't own Mario or any of the other characters in the Mario series. **

**Bowser: Umm…why am I here right now….**

**KBF: I could care less.**

**Bowser: You should. I feel like beating the sh-**

**Ludwig: Hey dad, Jr. iz freaking out again.**

**Bowser: What did you guys do…**

**Ludwig: Well…Roy and Wendzy, they kind of...put ze leftoverz from lazt night'z dinner…and zmeared it all over his bandana…you know…ze squash…**

**Bowser: Wha!? Who made squash!? I'm allergic to squash! Or at least that's what the doctor told me…is that why I was knocked out all last night?**

**Ludwig: No…you came home, started to zcream for zome reazon, and fell azleep on the floor…We had to carry you to bed…which, almozt-broke-my back…No, you aren't allergic to squash…you ate zome.**

**KBF: Continue this conversation later. On to the story.**

**Bowser: Jr.'s allergic to squash!!! Doctor says so!!!**

DK: "Ok, everyone ready?"

Diddy: "YEAH, LET'S GO ALREADY."

Dixie: "Always in a rush. Ok, let's go then."

DK: "Alright, alright…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Luigi: "How much beer you think you are-a-going to drink, Mario?

Mario: "Dunno. Hopefully I'll outdrink that fatass Bowser! I'd imagine-a-

he's a mean drunk though…"

"Don't worry, you can beat him! As for me, I just wanna see anything between me and-a-Daisy."

"Well, then, let's go already!"

"Oh ye!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Yoshi: "Ok, where's his castle again…Whoa…whoa-whoa-whoa-WOAH-WOOOAAAHHH!!!"

Yoshi, being a little clumsy, almost falls straight into Bowser's Moat-o-Lava.

"Wow, close. I'm here already? Guess I'll just go inside for a bit…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Daisy: "Come on, Peach! We've gotta go!"

Peach: "HOLD ON! I'm doing my hair! Everyone always stares at it when they first see me for the day."

"You do realize they just think you're cute and sexy that way. Especially Bowser."

"Yeah I know. There…all done."

"Come on then!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Toad: "Oh my gawd, come on woman! I wanna get there before Mario drinks everything!"

Toadette: "Oh shut up. Don't worry, we'll get there. Now come on, I'm done."

"The red one looked fine…"

"Shut up and come on!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Wario: "Hey, let's-a-go already!"

Waluigi: "Fine, fine, I'm right here!"

"Oh ye, Bowser's in for it now…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Birdo: "Here it is! Hey, is that Yoshi? Hmm…I'll go after him…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ludwig: "Hey dad, where should zis axe go? How about on ze other zide of zis bridge above zis lava?"

Bowser: "NO! NO DON'T PUT IT THERE DAMMIT! PLEASE NO!!"

Ludwig: "Okay, Okay! I'll put it somewhere elze…"

(Pant) "So, how's the booby traps going, Roy?"

Roy: "Perfectly…see? Here's the best one so far!"

"I MEANT BOOBY TRAPS NOT _**BOOBS**_ TRAPS! WHAT THE HELL-Wait….that's a goo-actually, no. Peach would kill me. Get rid of it."

"Hmph. Alright."

Bowser walked down the hallway, and ran into Yoshi.

Bowser: "What the…Yoshi!? Why are you here so early!?"

Yoshi: "Honestly, no clue."  
"Well then…just don't screw around too much…!"

"Aww, that takes the fun out of it."

"The dungeon/torture chamber might be fun for your tastes. Want that instead?"

"Umm…no thank you."

"Then don't screw around!"

"Yes sir…"

Birdo: "HA! Finally got you!

Yoshi: "Birdo!? Wha!?"  
Bowser: "What are you two doing here…Party hasn't even started yet and you're annoying the hell out of me…"

Birdo: "Fine then. Just let me stay with Yoshi and I'm outta your way, and I'll keep him away from you-"

Bowser: "DONE! Now go somewhere!!"

Birdo: "Let's go, big boy."

Yoshi: "Wait, Bowser! Don't leave me with her!! She'll suffocate me with her damnable love!!!"

Bowser: "I wouldn't wanna have someone who's a transsexual have a crush on me either…even if it was Peach…Better him than me…Ok guys, the party guests are going to be coming soon! Go get dressed!"

Roy and Ludwig: "Ok, Dad!"

And soon, after an amount of time too lazy to be known or described, the guests finally start to arrive. Roy was wearing his typical mask, except he polished his shell. Ludwig did the same. Bowser, though, changed into his shiny, "Good" shell, which looked the same but as if it were a newborn koopa's shell. The spikes were more whitish then his other shell's, and the shell itself was shinier. He whitened his horns, teeth, and claws the best he could. He also changed his spiked bracelets, anklets, and choker into newer, shinier, and sharper ones. Lastly, he wore a special white vest he planned to take off later. Probably to impress someone…Bowser was the door greeter.

The first guests were starting to arrive. And guess who was first? Wario and Waluigi, of course. They were speeding though the streets with Waluigi's purple Corvette (I think, correct me if I'm wrong), Nearly falling right into the Castle Moat-o-Lava. They got out and charged Bowser's gates.

Wario: "Ok, where's da beer!? Open up!!"

Bowser: "Don't tell me that was Wario…"

He looked outside a window, sighed, and opened the gates. They were wearing their regular clothing…

Bowser: "Gawd, do you guys really have to be here so damn early?"

Waluigi: "He said if not, he'd rape and kill me tonight. I didn't want to take-a-my chances…"

Bowser: "Uh….yeah…just go inside and set the packs on the table. I don't care where you go, don't bother me right now."

Wario: "Hmph. Fine. But I'm getting drunk BEFORE the party starts."

Then, Toad and Toadette arrived. 1 second before Mario and Luigi in their little go-kart. Mario was wearing the same, except whiter gloves, more blackish shoes, a black vest, and a red rose. Luigi wore the same things, except his flower was a Climb Rose. It's a rose that is white with barely any red visible, and in the middle it's orangish-red.

Bowser: "Heh, plumbing doesn't get ya much, does it, Mario?"

Mario: "Oh, you want to take-a-my vest? Ok, here."

He, and Luigi, shoved their vests in his face. Angry, Bowser was ready to attack, but overcame his anger since he didn't want to ruin the vest he had on. He hung both vests in the nearby closet.

Bowser: "Grrr…Just stay outta the way until the party starts!"

Luigi: "Got sand in your vagina again, eh Bowser?"

Bowser: "I'm gonna kick your ass soooo hard…Hmph. I barely know you two, but welcome. Your jacket?"

Toad: "Ok, here. Hey, being nice today?"

Bowser: "Mabye. Don't get on my nerves, and there won't be trouble. Got it?"

"Sure, why not. Toadette, your scarf?

Toadette: "I wanna keep it on."

Toad: "Ok. Let's go inside then."

Bowser: "Go on."

The next to arrive was Daisy and Peach. Excited, Daisy almost tripped getting to the door. Peach was calm, but inside, excited and filled with glee. Bowser finally invited her, instead of kidnapping her, to his castle. Daisy wore a white version of her dress, a beautiful bracelet encrusted with a red, and a tiara encrusted with a diamond. Peach wore a darker shade of red of her dress, a gold-chain bracelet with a diamond in the middle. She also wore a tiara. They both had umbrellas, a fashion statement…?

Bowser: "Well, well…the lovely ladies have come. May I say you look fabulous tonight!

Daisy: "Yeah yeah, we know that."

"May I take your umbrellas?"

Peach: "Oh, here. How nice."

Daisy: "I still don't trust you much…"

Bowser: "Hmph. Mabye you will tonight then."

"Mabye. Or not."

"Oh just go in. More guests are coming."

"Ok, Ok. Let's go Peach."

Peach: "Yeah, ok. Hey, there's Mario and Luigi!"

The last guests, DK, Diddy, and Dixie, arrived. DK was wearing a black jacket. No pants…Diddy, a yellow-ish jacket….no pants….and Dixie had make-up all over…no clothes…

Bowser: "I hope you're not planning on putting on your birthday suit."

DK: "Not for you. For some sexy lady tonight! Mabye even Peach!"

Bowser "She's mine, you son-of-a-bitch!"

"Not if I get her first!"

"She doesn't like you!"

"She likes me more than you."

Diddy: "Can we stop fighting already? Here, take the damn jackets."

Bowser: "Hmph. Fine. Go inside and meet with the others."

Dixie: "Come on, uncle."

DK: "We'll settle this later…"

Bowser: "Primitive ass-scratching ape."

**And so, the party has started. What'll happen now? I can't say. Bowser's at home, so no small conversation…thank gawd. Watch the next chapter! More humor, ridiculousness, and beertime! It feels like these chapters have been kinda short, so I'll make the next ones a little longer! Minigame ideas are appreciated!!!**


	4. We're Betting?

**We're Betting?!**

**Bowser: SO Ludwig, how is Jr.?**

**Ludwig: He'z recovering, don't worry.**

**KBF: Wait, what happened Bowser?**

**Bowser: Roy, Wendy, and some of the other kids of mine put squash on Jr.'s bandana, and he's allergic to it…**

**KBF: How bad is it? **

**Bowser: His cheeks start to swell…he gets gassy…and starts to bloat a little…**

**KBF: Eww…**

**Bowser: Yeah, I know. But uh...Let's get to the story now.**

**Ludwig: Can I ztay?**

**Bowser: Sure.**

Everyone had met in the main hall, and went to sit down in a peculiar room. There were pictures of Peach and pictures of Bowser on the walls. There was a stage set up at the back of the room with a microphone. There were guard koopas and goombas at the doors and watching the guests. Bowser had walked in, while everyone was talking and going on about "Why did he invite us?" and "I wonder if this is his plan?" and things like that. Wario was already drunk, yelling at the guests and spitting rude comments everywhere. Mario was too, but not as much. He had planned on getting REALLY drunk. But not yet. Luigi was fine, he drank a little. Same with Peach and Daisy. Yoshi, though very odd, was a little drunk…Bowser walked onto the stage, in an attempt to get everyone's attention. He grabbed the microphone nearby, and called out.

Bowser: "Hey! Everyone? Hey, is this thing on?"

Koopa: "It should be working now…"

"EVERYONE! HEY! Wario? What are you-oh gawd Wario please don't…Aww...! Not my favorite bowl! Alright that's it!"

Bowser stomped down the stage's stairs in complete anger. He walked over to Wario, plowed his face into the table, and banged on the table.

Bowser: "ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!!!!"

Everyone froze, and turned to Bowser's attention. He was still carrying the mic, so he threw it at the wall to get some attention.

Mario: "No need to-a-scream! That was my ear, you bitch!

Bowser: "And? Anyways, we've got plenty to do tonight. Since you all are getting a little "Ignorant", we'll skip the introduction and get right to the party!!!" Bowser made a taunting pose by crossing his arms. "Kammy? If you would?"

Kammy: "Yes, your coolness…"

"Hmm, best one yet."

"Thank you."

BLINK! The lights flashed off.

Waluigi: "Eh? What the hell…?"

YOSHI!!!

Mario: "Luigi? Where are you?"

Luigi: "I am-a-here, my brother!"

Diddy: "Uncle? Where are ya!?"

DK: "Right in front of you…now stop feeling my crotch!"

"Oh crap..Sorry…"

Ludwig: "Hey Dad? Where are zoo?"

Peach: "Anyone have a feeling they're falling!?"

BLINK! The lights came back on.

Mario: "Bowser, you mama-fuc-"

Everyone: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

And…they fell. Luckily, they all fell on a soft, plushy pile of pillows with Peach patterns. Alliteration madness!!! Bowser was standing in front of them.

DK: "Hey, these have Peach on them…Heh, Bowser you pansy!"

Bowser: "Shut the hell up DK! Kammy…!" He growled while and after talking.

Kammy: "Oops. Sorry your highness…

A wave of the wand and the pillows are…gone…did that rhyme!? Stupid writing technique thingies!!!!

Bowser: "Don't be mad 'cause you got dumped."

DK: "Ya wanna fight about it!?"

"Mabye later. As for now, Welcome to the Mushroom Kingdom!!!"

Toad: "Wait, wha-whoa….

Yoshi…

2 gates open, and a full-scale replica of the Mushroom Kingdom appeared!!!

Daisy: Whoa…amazing!

Peach: "It looks just like the Kingdom!

Bowser: "Yeah, and this is where you'll be playing!

Roy: "Awsome! Wait…I knew that…"

Ludwig hit him on the head. "You idiot."

Roy: "Hey! Don't hit me!"

Bowser: "HEY! Remember what happened last time I had to break you two up!?"

Both: "Oh, yeah. Sorry…"

Bowser: "Okay, now. This isn't gonna be any ordinary "Mario" Party game."

Waluigi: "Why not?"

"Because….we'll be using REAL coins!"

Waluigi: "Seriously!? Alright!"

Dixie: Aww, I just got my allowance…."

Ludwig and Roy: "Us too!"

Bowser: "Don't worry! Combine your coins. It'll count up overall."

Mario: "Sounds good-a-to me! Hey bro, how much do we have? I've got 30 coins."

Luigi: "Me too."

(In the Mario world, 1 coin is worth 2 dollars. So…30 coins 60 dollars!)

"Awsome. 60 coins."

Bowser: "When you're done, come up to the front and put the coins in this bucket.

Mario: "Here, Bowser. 60 coins."

"Heh, more than I'd expect for a lousy, fat plumber."

"And let me guess, you're putting in more?"

"Actually, I'm putting in 200 coins!"

Everyone: "WHA!?" And some said, "DAAAAAMMMMNNNN!!!"

Everyone was shocked. They reflected on this opportunity, since Bowser put in sooo many coins, to bet as much as they could.

DK: "Me, Diddy and Dixie have 80. Here."

Birdo: "Here. Me and big boy here have 50."

Yoshi: (Sigh) "I barely know you and you like me STOP SUFFOCATING ME! I NEED AIR!!!!"

Bowser: "Mmmm...kay...next?"

Peach: "Daisy and I have 140."

Bowser: "Wow, someone's got good pay…"

Wario and Waluigi: "50."

Bowser: "That's it!? Grrrr….just go get in line! Huunnhh!!" Bowser made a grunting, growling noise, and pointed at the starting point of the board.

Toad: "65."

Bowser: "Hey kids, got any to donate?"

Ludwig and Roy: "Umm, no…"

Bowser: "I just gave you your allowances this morning! I'll spot ya this time…"

Ludwig and Roy: "Whew…"

"So you did have it! Hmph. Fine. Get in line."

Ludwig: "I actually had 40 coinz with me."

Roy: "I've got 35. Eh, let's do it anyway."

Bowser: "Ok, the amount we have is….add the two, carry the 5, e equals mc squared…660 coins!"

(That's 1,320 dollars!)

Mario and Luigi: "Mama-Mia!"

Wario: "He-HEH! Time for me to win big!"

Diddy: "I'm gonna be rich!"

Bowser: "And I'm gonna steal all of the money!"

Everyone: "WHAT!?"

Bowser: "SARCASTIC! Sar…cas...tic…?

POW!! Everyone beat Bowser to a pulp. Now bleeding, he attempted to get up.

Bowser: "OKAY! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Now, just hit your dice blocks…damn…"

Yoshi?

Then, everyone jumped, and their boxes exploded with confetti, and out sprouted a number.

Bowser: "Ok, say your numbers!"

Luigi: "I'm-a-Luigi, number 1 of course!

Diddy: "2! Yeah!"

Ludwig: "3."

Bowser: "4! Perfect!"

Mario: "5!"

Dixie: "6!"

Daisy: "7!"

Peach: "8!"

Roy: "9!"

Toadette: "10"!

Waluigi: "11.."

DK: "12…"

Wario: "13…."

Birdo: "14..."

Toad: "15!? Aww gawd dammit…"

Bowser: "Don't worry, Toad. The people in the lowest part of the order get more coins to start off with than the ones that are up higher! That means Luigi gets 1, Diddy and Ludwig get 2, I get 3, Mario and Dixie get 4, Daisy gets 5, Peach and Roy get 6, Toadette gets 7, Waluigi and DK get 8, Wario gets 9, and Toad and Birdo get 10."

Toad: "Awsome!"

Birdo: "Birdo!"

Bowser: "Here's your set starting amount. By the way…beer's to your right."

Wario: "YES! Finally!"

So, everyone went to the stand to get their free beers. Everyone got mostly drunk. See the next chapter for the first turn!!

**Bowser: I'm 4th? Mkay. So…we're all sorta drunk now…**

**KBF: Yes. Ok with that?**

**Bowser: Yeah…except the beers from me are free, and I PUT IN 200 COINS!?**

**KBF: Don't worry, you're rich, aren't you?**

**Bowser: Jr.'s birthday is coming up…that was the money for his gifts! I set how much money I use...Grrrr…..**

**KBF: Wait! I can solve this! I..uh….umm...MARIO!! MARIO!!**

**Mario: Wha?**

**KBF: Protect me while I run!**

**Mario: I'm…gonna help Bowser kick your ass now.**

**KBF: Oh gawd…**

**Bowser: Perrrrfect.**


	5. It's Not Thanksgiving!

**I****t's Not Thanksgiving!!!**

Credit and thanks to Zairos for the cool minigame! Don't own Mario or any other characters.

This chapter seems to be much longer…

**Bowser: This seems to be going great. Good job.**

**KBF: Thanks..?**

**Bowser: So, what's-**

**Jr.: Daddy! Daddy go get the other guys! They made me sick!**

**Bowser: Ugh. I have no time for this…**

**KBF: I'm not even involved in any of this!**

**Bowser: Help me calm these kids down.**

**KBF: HELL NO!**

**Bowser: What the hell is wrong with you today?!?**

**KBF: I'M GETTING WEIRD QUESTIONS EVERYDAY, AND I'M #$$# TIRED OF IT!!! DAMN! AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?**

**Jr.: Umm…nothing…daddy, he's scaring me…**

**Bowser: I am sooo gonna kick your ass later.**

**KBF: Oh, PIP-PIP-DE-DOODELY-DOO! Let's get on to the story already…**

Everyone was drunk now, or at least moderately drunk, like Peach. As for others, like Wario, Bowser, Mario, Luigi, DK, they were…drunk…

Wario: "Hey, Mario…! I'm-a-gonna…kick your ass in the competition…!

Mario: "Oh, is-a-that so? Kiss my-"

Bowser: "OK, now that everyone's had a drink, let's start this already…" Bowser fell.

Waluigi: "We-heh! Come on, Wario! We'll win big now!"

Diddy: "Hmph. I'll wipe the floor with everyone in this room."

Ludwig: "Roy, how much did zoo drink…"

Roy: "1….or 2…beers…I dunno…"

Ludwig: "Well then, just try to ztay awake, ok?"

Roy: Okie Dokie…

Toad: "Come on, we know the rules already…just get on with it, dammit!

Bowser: "Yeah, Yeah….ok. Who's up first again!?"

Luigi: "Me, you idiot."

And so, the game finally starts. Luigi, a tiny bit dazed, jumps up and hits his dice block. Out sprouts a 4.

Luigi: 1..2..3..4..A question mark?"

Suddenly, a goomba walked up to Luigi, gave him a powerful headbutt, and stole his 1 and only coin!

Luigi: "Aww, come on! Dammit!"

Mario: "Oh hee-hee, ahh ha-ha!"

"Fuck off, Mario."

Whoa! Wasn't that word censored!?

Bowser: "Ok, on to the minigame wheel. Kammy?"

Kammy: "Ok. Here we go."

Diddy: "Whoa, it's my turn now, right?"

Bowser: "After someone's turn, or something, since we have so many people, there will be a minigame."

Diddy: "Oh, ok. Got it."

Kammy: "The minigame is…Turkey Chucker 3000!"

Birdo: "What's that supposed to mean-"

All of a sudden, 7 of the 14 people were teleported to the home plate of a baseball field, and the other 7 on a peculiar moving part of the sidewalk, all the way outside of the stadium.

Kammy: "Okay, here are the rules. The seven of you at home plate will be using the bazookas behind you to launch turkeys. You are the pitchers. Those on the outside of the stadium are the catchers. You have to take the oven-shaped baseball gloves behind you to catch the turkeys. Only the catchers can score this game. Be careful, some are really big, and some are pissed! The small turkeys are worth 1 point, the medium-sized, 3 points, and the big ones, 5 points! If you get a hold of one that's really pissed off, 2 points for you!"

The pitchers were: Daisy, Yoshi, Dixie, Roy, Luigi, Toad, Ludwig and Waluigi. The catchers were: Mario, Peach, Diddy, Bowser, DK, Toadette, Birdo, and Wario.

Yoshi: "Oh…I get it…"

DK: "Ok, then Let's go already."

Kammy: "Ok, then."

Announcer: "GET READY!!!"

Everyone: "WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

Announcer: "GO!!!"

And it was on. The catchers were frantically running in circles, not knowing what was going on. Some slipped due to a moving sidewalk. The pitchers grabbed their bazookas, and BOOM!!! They started to shoot turkeys out of the barrels of the gigantic guns.

Daisy: "Wow, this thing is heavy!"

Toad: "And hard to shoot, too!"

As the turkeys hurdled towards the catchers, they started to panic.

Mario: "Whoa! Mama-Mia!"

DK: "There's a big one!"

Bowser: "Mine! Huuunhh!!"

DK and Bowser leaped for the bigger turkey, only to hit each other and miss the opportunity.

Bowser: "Grrr…Dammit DK!! Get outta my way!"

DK: "You get outta my way!"

Diddy: "I think I swallowed a feather or two…"

Peach: "Hey! I got one!"

Unfortunately, it was a very small turkey. Diddy had already caught a medium-sized one, since he has great acrobatic skills. Seems like he'd win this one. Bowser, Wario and DK went for the big ones, and Mario was going all-around. Toadette was having some trouble. She's not very fast or tough! The score so far:

Mario: 3 Medium-Sized, 9 points.

Peach: 4 Smaller-Sized, 1 Medium, 7 points.

Toadette: 2 Smaller, 1 Medium, 5 points.

DK: 1 Bigger-Sized, 1 Medium, 1 Smaller, 9 points.

Bowser: 2 Bigger, 10 points.

Wario: 1 Bigger, 1 Medium, 1 Smaller, 9 points.

Diddy: 4 Medium, 12 points.

Everyone was having a hard time since they were somewhat drunk.

As for Birdo…she got a turkey that was pissed…but, that turkey was like a demon from hell. It slapped, pecked, and tackled her until it ran her out of there and on her way home.

Yoshi: "YES! SHE LEFT! THANK GAWD, DAMN!"

Dixie: "Ooookaay…I thought you two…"

Bowser: "Oh well. I don't like transsexuals.

Yoshi: "WHAT!?"  
Bowser: "Yeah, you didn't know that!?"

"Hell no! Aww gawd dammit…I made out with her one night…."

And everyone fell over, anime style. Back to the game.

A gigantic turkey, bigger than all the rest, was sitting on the side, waiting to be launched.

Waluigi: "Let's use the biggest one last! We-heh!"

Toad: "Yeah, it'll be the finisher!"

Daisy: "I'm just having fun shooting turkeys!

Roy: "I bet you do that a lot, don't you!?"

Ludwig: "I don't get zat, and neizer do you!"

"…Yeah, I guess you're right…"

Yoshi: "Shut up and keep firing dammit!!"

Roy: "You say dammit too much."

Yoshi "How about 'Damn YOU!?'"

Waluigi: "15 seconds! Someone-a-fire the BIG one now!"

Luigi: "I will-a-do it!"

Daisy: "Fine, now hurry! Everyone help load it!"

They all rush to the aid of Luigi, who would fire the turkey himself. Meanwhile…

DK: "Hey, that's the last one? There's still 12 seconds!"

Peach: "What's that!?" She pointed over yonder.

Diddy: "What the-"

Waluigi: "Ok, ready to fire!"

Toad: "This thing is pissed _**OFF**_!

Luigi: "Here we goooo!!"

BOOM!!! The giant turkey was fired, leaving all catchers panicking once again.

Yoshi: "ACK! What do we do!"

Bowser: "I'm not tryin' for that thing!"

DK: " Oh, _**HEEELLL**_ no!"

Peach: "Aaahhh!!! Gotta get away!"

Mario: "Mama-Mia!!!"

Too late. The Giant Turkey pounded the ground with amazing force, crushing the catchers beneath it. Luckily, Bowser's spikes on his shell stabbed it in the ass, causing it to gobble and run, bleeding all over everyone.

Diddy: "Whoa…what…just happened..?"

DK: "We got suffocated…by a turkey's ass…and bled all over..."

Mario: "And I had no protection. Oh well. What are the chances?"

Bowser: "You should know…you do dirty work every-"

Announcer: "FINISH!"

Toadette: "OH MY GAWD SHUT THE FUCKIN' HELL UP! I mean…oh wait. That's what I meant…STOP STARING AT ME!"

Bowser: "Kay….so Kammy, what's the score?"

Kammy: I'll go by highest to lowest. Diddy, Mario, Bowser, Yoshi, DK, Peach, Wario, Toadette.

Toadette: "MUSHROOM FUC-"

Diddy: "Yeah! I won! What do I get?"

Kammy: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place get 20 coins. Yoshi, DK, and Peach get 10, Wario and Toadette get none.

Bowser: "Huuunnhhh! Awsome!" He made a pose.

Mario: "Nice. I'm winning big tonight!" Mario jumped into the air, flashing the peace sign.

Peach: "Good enough for me!"

Wario: "Derrrrr….I'll win the next one!"

Announcer: "WINNER: DIDDY KONG!"

Kammy: "I told them that, dipshit!"

Everyone turned and stared at Kammy yelling at the Announcer. Kammy wasn't one to get angry like this. Was she drunk?!"

Announcer: "Hey..! You…shut up! I don't like doing this job! I get low pay and my voice always hurts from shouting! Watching you all run around doing idiotic things is fun, but not for me! My wife left me! I'm almost out of a job! I'm running out of money, and I have bills and loans to pay off! You don't know how this feels, do you!? HUH!?"

Everyone was already gone, back into the Mushroom Kingdom board.

Announcer: (Sigh) "I hate my life…"

That same day, the Announcer went home, grabbed a chair, wrote a will, and hung himself, right beside the door. He'll always be forgotten. NO FUNERAL FOR YOU!

Back on the game board, it's now Diddy's turn.

Diddy: "Awsome. Hep!" He hit his dice, and out sprouted a 7.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-" He landed on the shop now.

"No coins…oh well. And…7." He landed on a typical blue space. "3 coins for me?"

Kammy: "Actually, it's 6 coins per blue space, and minus 3 coins per red space."

Bowser: "Kammy? No minigame?"

Kammy: "Not for this turn."

Ludwig: "Zen I guess iz my turn now." He jumped and hit the dice block, causing a 10 to sprout.

"One, two, three, four, five, six-hmm. I don't have any coinz…oh well. Zeven, eight, nine, ten. Eh? A Bowser zpace!? Oh, crap.."

Bowser: "Looks like it's a Bowser space! Kammy?"

Kammy: "Yes, your devilishness."

Bowser: "That one sucked…"

Bowser was teleported to Ludwig's space, and began.

Ludwig: "Dad? What are you doing?"

Bowser: "Since you don't have many coins…I'll give ya 10 coins."

Mario: "Turtle bastard. And his son's a turtle bastard."

Ludwig: "Screw you, fatazz."

Bowser: "Good one, heh heh."

Mario: "I'm gonna kick you, and your fat little turtle sons' asses!"

Roy: "Bring it, cumstain!"

Peach: "Hey, hey, HEY!"

The four of them froze, and turned to Peach.

Peach: "Are we gonna get on with this or fight like four little assholes!?" Peach covered her mouth with her hands, suprising herself that she would talk that way.

Bowser: "Yeah…let's move on, I guess."

Meanwhile, Wario headed over to the bar for a drink.

Wario: "Damn, it's almost dead right-a-now! Hey, bartender! Hit me!"

Koopa-Tender: "Comin' up."

Luigi and DK were also there having a drink as well.

Luigi: "I don't know why I'm always on the side…no one respects ME…I'm the brother of the GREAT Mario…I don't matter to anyone! No respect at ALL!"

DK: "Who the hell are you again?"

"That's exactly what I'm talkin' about!"

"Seriously."

"Shut up before I slit your throat."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah! Watch me!"

Luigi broke a bottle over DK's head and tackled him, holding the now broken, razor-sharp half-a-bottle-o-beer close to his neck. He breathed heavily against DK's face, which smelled like rotten eggs, beer and throw-up.

DK: "What the hell are you doing!?"

Luigi: "SHUT UP! Want me to kill you!?"

Daisy: "Luigi! STOP IT!" She tackled him and pulled him away from the now bleeding DK.

Luigi: "Get off me! Let me go!"

Mario: "Luigi! Calm the fuck down!!" Mario slapped him twice across the face.

Luigi: (Pant)(Pant) "Okay….okay…I'm good…fine I'll stop…"(Pant)

Toad: "What the hell got into you!?"

Luigi: "…..I DUNNO!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Toad: "Oh. Ok."

Bowser walked up and looked at the bleeding ape sitting on the ground. His head was busted open, and bleeding badly.

Diddy: "Uncle!? What happened to you!?"

DK was already knocked unconscious when Diddy ran to him.

Bowser: "Ugh…an injury _**already**_!? Hey!? WHERE ARE THE MEDIKOOPAS!? GET OUT HERE!"

Then, two Medikoopas rushed in, and laid down a stretcher. They tried to lift DK, but were too weak.

Medi #1: "Umm…sir…re-…requesting some…help…"

Bowser: "You need help…with what…"

"Li-..lifting this ape.."

"Are you cereal…(Sigh) Fine. I of all people have to touch this ass-scratching idiot."

He picked DK up and put him on the stretcher.

Bowser: "I'm not carrying him out. Get more to help you two."

Medi #2: "Um…ok…HEY! NEED HELP IN HERE!"

Then, two more Medikoopas came in to help. They pulled DK up, and headed out of the room.

Bowser: "Any more problems?"

Everyone: "No…"

Bowser: "Good."

Waluigi: "Eh, what happened to Wario?"

Wario was sitting in the bathroom…he was puking all over the toilets. Bowser came in, and…

Bowser: "BUAHAHAHAHA!!! BUUAAAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!" Bowser started to roll on the floor. "He heh, good laugh. …..Ok, now that's just getting disgusting. Ya done yet!? Gotta take a leak!!!"

Wario: "Fine, fine! (Cough)(Cough) I think I'm-a-done…" Wario walked outside to the board.

Bowser: "Finally. Hmm…eww!! This thing's clogged! Idiot…HEY MARIO! GET IN HERE AND DO YOUR REAL JOB!"

Mario: "What!?" Mario walked into the bathroom."

"Toilet's clogged. Do your real job and unclog it."

"Wha-EWW! WHAT THE FUCK!? HELL NO!"

"I'll pay ya."

"How much?"

"30 coins."

"No, 60!"

"What!? For a damn plumber!?"

"You really want to do this yourself, rather-a-than me doing it faster?"

Bowser thought of what he would have to go through. "No. Here. 60 coins."

"Good. Now get out."

Bowser held himself…down there…and started to dance. "I-…I have to go!!! Grrr…!"

"Go somewhere-a-else, dammit!!!"

"Hmph…fine…! aaaaaaAAAHHHH!!!" He ran past the starting space, then into a hallway. He knocked Yoshi down on his way.

Yoshi: "S'cuse you, bitch!!! That was my tail…"

Bowser: "Gotta find one…where is it again!? I can't think!!!! MMMNNNNNMMM!!!! Oh gawd!! I think some leaked out!!" He started to run in a random direction. He almost fell, tripping over his own foot. Then, he found a bathroom, with only one toilet. But, a koopa already went in.

Bowser: "AWW DAMN YOU!!! Hurry up in there!"

Koopa: "Ugh…oh gawd…ohhh gawd…"

Bowser: "EEWW! That makes me have to go even more!!! That's it! I can't take it! Bladder's gonna explode…! Oh, I know!" Bowser prepared for something that definitely would get him out. He took a gulp, then a sniff, and in a high pitched voice, said: "Hey, kids! I'm Mitchel Koopson!!"

Koopa: "Oh shit!! Mitchel Koopson!? Gotta get outta here!! AAAHHHH!!!" He ran out of the bathroom, ran into the gameroom, flashing around his naked-to-the-eye "Koopa Pride", as Bowser calls it.

Bowser danced around in a circle, ready to charge in. Then, another Koopa charged in before him!!

Bowser: " Oh my fucking gawd!!! I'm not gonna make it!!! Forget this!!!" Bowser ran into the gameroom, still holding…down there…the only bathroom open was the women's bathroom, peculiarly placed…

Bowser: "Are you kidding!? I can't go in there!! nnnnnn!!!" Bowser felt every drip of urine slipping away. "That's it. OUT OF THE WAY MARIO!!" Bowser charged into the men's bathroom.

Mario: "Wait, wha?! WHOA!!!"

Bowser shoved him out of the way, sat on the toilet, and began to…go…in front…of Mario…

Bowser: "Ahhhhh…heh heh…huh…?" Bowser snapped back into reality, noticing Mario was kneeling over him…watching him pee…

Mario: "Mama-mia!!!"

Bowser's jaw was halfway open. He was looking around in space, trying to ignore what was really happening. Then, Bowser let out a somewhat loud fart.

Mario: "Mama-mia…" Mario fell backwards, knocked out.

Bowser was speechless. He tried to say something, but stuttered trying. He just got up, went to wash his hands. It was out of paper towels.

Bowser: "Hmm…time to improvise. This'll work."

He used Mario as a towel.

Peach: "Bowser, there's a naked koopa in th-Mario!? What did you do!?"

Bowser: "Umm…diarrhea…?"

Peach was angry. She slapped him hard across the face, causing him to fall.

Bowser: "OW! I'm gonna…gonna…hmph. I get slapped and I can't fight back. Heh, anything for love…"

Peach: "You...love me? Oh, wait…I knew that. Wait a minute…Mario!? What the hell did you do to him!?" Peach, forgetting what just happened (Except the "Love" moment), slapped him once more.

Bowser: "Come on! What are you doing!? Here, I'll wake him up."

Bowser grabbed him by the shirt, walked over to a toilet, and shoved his face in toilet water...

Mario: "M-…huh? Bowser? Eww!! What the hell!? Get-a-off!"

"Fine! I was just waking you up!"

"Hmph. I'm gonna forget what I-a-just-a-saw…too creepy anyways."

"Umm…okay…"

Peach: "What just happened?"

**Too long? Too boring? Want more humor and action? Review and tell me! No convo tonight…Bowser and Jr. fell asleep…**


	6. Love in Disguise?

**Love in Disguise?**

** Sorry, my internet's having some problems...I might not be adding chappies as frequently as I have been...  
**

**Bowser: That means Bowser and Peach time, right?**

**KBF: Don't get your hopes up…mabye…mabye not.**

**Bowser: Go on, then.**

Everyone was now at the game board. It was now Bowser's turn. Although, there's a problem…everyone is fighting.

Waluigi: "HEY! GET OFF ME!!!"

Toadette: "NO, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!"

Daisy: "Yoshi, I don't want any damn eggs!!"

Yoshi: "Bitch, you better back off before I stuff them down your throat."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY!?" Daisy punched him in the jaw and knocked him down. Yoshi got up and tackled her.

Diddy: "Hmph. Everyone's fighting. This is boring."

Dixie: "You're one to talk!!!"

Diddy: "WHAT!? DIE!!!"

Diddy grabbed her head and slammed her body into the ground. Dixie, about to explode, kicked him in the crotch.

"AWW!! Son of…a bitch…that hurt!!"

"I know."

Mario: "Luigi? What's going on?"

Luigi: "Well…DK got mad 'cause Peach-a-slapped him 'cause he was hitting on her, so he-a-went crazy, and punched Roy in the eye. Ludwig attacked him, but-a-only made him madder so he started to attack everyone…and-a-everyone started to fight…"

Bowser: "I'm gonna kill him!!! Roy!? Where are you!?"

Roy: "Ug, here dad…"

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ludwig?"

Ludwig: "I'm alright…we've got to ztop thiz."

Bowser: "Ok, I've got it."

Bowser took in a big breathe, smoke coming out of his snout, and spit fire at everyone who was fighting.

Bowser: "You idiots! What the hell are you doing!? Calm down!!!"

Everyone: "Grrrr…."

Mario: "Ok, wait! We've gotta move on! You wanna win big, right!?"

Peach: "Well…I guess so…"

"Well then let Bowser go already!"

Bowser: "Umm...thanks?"

Mario: "Shut up and go."

Bowser: "Hmph." Bowser jumped, and accidentally hit the block with his head. "Ow...that hurt…6…1..2..3..4..5..hmm. I'll go get somethin' from the shop…" He thought.

He walked inside of the shop, and a goomba was sitting at the counter.

Goomba: "What would you like today? We have a Hammer Bros. Hammer for 10 coins(Steals 10 coins), Bob-omb for 5(Skip a turn), and a Super Mushroom for 15.

Bowser: "Eh, nah. Nothing of intrest. Besides, I pay you."

Goomba: "No you don't…."

Bowser: "Huh?"

Goomba: "Your fly's open."

"I don't…wha!?"

"I don't….know…I'm crazy?"

"Uh…sure…" Bowser walked out, and began to scratch his head. "Oookay…idiot. And..7. Question Mark again..."

Then, a koopa appeared in front of him.

Koopa: "I'm here to give everyone 10 coins!"

Everyone: "Hellz yes."

Bowser: "Not all for me though…"

Toad: "Pig."

Bowser: "Shut up, fungus!"

"My name's Toad! Fuck you."

"Me and your mom. Eww, nevermind…Kammy?"

Kammy: "Yes, there is one. Starting the wheel."

And the wheel starts spinning.

Dixie: "One of them looks like a heart…aww…"

Then, the wheel stopped. Everyone listened in to see what Kammy had to say.

Kammy: "Well, that's the one…I think this will be intresting…the game is: "Make-out, Fake-out!"

Everyone: "Make-out!?"

Then, everyone was teleported to a room with a giant bottle in the middle, with two openings. There were hearts on the wall, but the lights were a little dim.

Peach: "Aww, this looks so romantic…"

Kammy: "I'm glad you think so. The rules of this game are that whoever two people the bottle is pointing at…"

DK: "Well?"

"They have to kiss, mouth-to-mouth style…and if you refuse…you get your coins taken away, and next turn skipped due to you getting seriously whipped. Tonguing and everything."

Everyone: "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Shocking. And also…awesome…all of the men were getting ready for the women to embrace their...uhh…yeah. The women were giggling. Mario was clearing his throat, Wario and Waluigi were laughing and grinning widely, Diddy was dancing around and clapping, and Bowser was applying a breathe spray.

Bowser: "Time for me to get lucky…"

Mario: "Who? With DK?"

"I'd say so for yourself."

Luigi: "I'm gonna get some woman tonight…"

Kammy: "Ok, we're gonna start this fast! Ok, spin bottle!"  
The bottle starts spinning, and everyone was nervous, or anxious.

Daisy: "I hope I get Luigi…"

And….the bottle stops. Tensions rise. Sweat starts. Gloves get sweatier. It points to…Luigi…and…Daisy!

Daisy: "YES! I got my wish!"

Kammy: "Now, it must be for 10 seconds. Anytime…"

Luigi: "Oh ye! Hot stuff!!" Luigi ran to Daisy, and started to...make out with her...

Bowser: "I'm not watchin' this."

DK: "Me neither..."

Everyone: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" And Luigi was done.

Luigi: "Damn that felt-a-good!"

Daisy: "I know it did. I've got another present for you later, big boy."

"Ooo, hoo-hoo! I like the sound of that!" Luigi then ran back to his seat."

Mario: "How was it, bro?"

Luigi: "Beer and…sweat…."

"Nice."

Wario: "This makes me feel SOOO hungry for some sexy woman!"

Waluigi: "Calm down. HEY, DON'T DO THAT IN FRONT OF-A-EVERYONE!!!"

"Fine…"

Dixie: "I hope I get no one. I like no one here."

Diddy: "I'm gonna get someone!!!"

Kammy: "OK, let's start this again.

Kammy starts up the bottle. Once again, tensions rise, sweat all over.

Wario: "Come on…come on…" The bottle nearly stops on Wario and Peach.

Kammy: "Peach...and...uh...ROY!?

"Aww, dammit!!!"

Roy: "AWSOME! OH YEAH!!!"

Bowser: "Hmph. I don't get to make out with her, but my SON does? Damn…"

Peach: "Oh no…one of Bowser's kids!? Is it worse than the father himself!?" She thought.

Roy ran over to Peach, anxious to get it on. Peach resisted, crossed her arms, but gave in.

Peach: "I have to do it…getting whipped hurts!!" She thought.

Yoshi: "You'd know, wouldn't ya!?"

Peach: "Oh shut up."

And so, she leaned towards the puckered-up Roy, and…landed her lips on his.

Bowser: "Nice, if I say so myself."

DK: "Aww, dammit…the two ladies are taken…damn…"

Diddy: "Like you had a chance."

Wario: "Mmm…looks good…"

Waluigi: "Calm down…not-a-now you idiot!"

Mario: "I'm gonna kill you AND your kids, Bowser!!!"

Bowser: "Slow it down, Kammy! I like the look on Mario's face! Heh-heh!"

Everyone: "4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

Peach: "BLECH!! Eww! Koopa saliva!! It was fire-hot…I've gotta go throw-up!" She ran to the bathroom, about to vomit all over the floor. Roy spaced out, walking back to his spot.

Ludwig: "So…how waz it?"

Roy: "Aw…some…girl kisses are like…heaven…"

Everyone else...jaw-dropped…

Kammy: "Since….no one has anything to say…let's get on to the last one. Here we go!"

Wario: "Last one!? Ok, here we go. Come on…"

DK: "Me! Me! ME!!!"

Diddy: "No, me!"

Yoshi: "I don't care."

Suprisingly, none of the girls, except Daisy, were excited, and said nothing.

Kammy: "Almost…"

The bottle was centered on Waluigi.

Waluigi: "Weh-heh! Who do I get tonight?"

But unfortunately, it passed him. It was going to…

Everyone: "Huh?"

Both bottles stopped. Everyone gasped. Luigi fainted. Toadette froze. Yoshi ran in circles, yelling "Oh the Humanity!!!" Some were laughing their asses off. Who was it on?

Who else would make everyone scared, laugh, and vomit at the same time?

Who?

It was…it was…

Mario…

and….

WHAT!?

Bowser…!?

Mario: "Mama-Mia!!!!"

Bowser: "WHAT!?"

Both were drained of their color. Mario almost fainted, and Bowser's jaw almost fell off hanging so low. His pupils were dilated. Mario couldn't keep himself up. Peach, now done throwing up her beer, came out only to see the bottle pointing at Mario and Bowser.

Peach: "D-…D-Does that mean…Mario…has to...kiss…Bowser!?"

Kammy: "Umm….yeah…I guess so…anyone need barf-bags?"

Everyone: "MEEE!!!!"

Roy: "Dad? I feel sorry for you…but uh…I got Peach and you didn't!!!! HA!"

Ludwig: "Dad? You…okay? I…have nozing to zay…"

Bowser regained his body, and grabbed his hair.

Bowser: "I CAN'T KISS HIM!!!! I'M NOT GAY!!! AND IF HE IS, I DON'T WANNA BE ANY PART OF IT!!!"

Kammy: "Sorry…but ya have to do it…or else coin loss, and…someone in this room gets to whip you…"

Mario: "But…I…eww…I…just thinking about-a-that…I can't stay awake!"

Kammy: "Gotta do what ya gotta do."

Bowser: "I…I…hmph. I guess…if I have to…I WON'T!!!!

Yoshi: "DO IT OR I'LL BE THE ONE TO WHIP YOU!!!"

Wario: "AND I'LL MOON YOU WHILE THAT'S HAPPENING!!!!"

Waluigi: "Oh gawd…"

Bowser: "But I…..I…ugh…..f-….f-...fine…" Bowser hesitatingly took short steps over to Mario.

Everyone: "BUAHAHAHA!!! AHH HAHAHAHA!!!"

DK: "Go on, go get em'!" DK pushed Bowser to Mario, and backed off.

Bowser: "Why you…huh? Oh…yeah…" Bowser started to scratch his head. He looked away, and his eyes were halfway open.

Mario: "You wouldn't…you can't!!! You won't!!!"

Bowser: "But….I….I have to…I don't…I won't!!!!"

Yoshi: "This is better than porn on a Saturday night!!!"

Waluigi: "YEAH!"

Toad: "Well? Go on!"

Daisy: "Is he…gonna do it?

Mario: "Wait, what!? NO!!!!"

Bowser: "I…I…I…(Gulp)…"

Bowser starts to think, "But…why me? Why now? Why…I can't do this!! Not in front of everyone!!! Especially Peach….Ludwig and Roy will definitely tell the kids…and the guard Koopas are watching!!! They're probably just begging to see this!!!"

Over at the door, one of the Koopas gets excited.

Koopa #1: "Dude, are you seeing this!?"

Koopa #2: "Yeah…is he really gonna do this!?"

"I don't know, but we gotta get the others!!!"

"Yeah! I'll go get a video-camera!!!"

And soon enough, there were many Koopas and Goombas lined outside, watching the two engage in unreal love. One of them had a video-camera, and one a digital camera.

Koopa: "Oh, this is something we've been waiting for!!!"

Goomba: "HELLZ YEAH!!! Someone get me a drink!!!"

Back on the game board…

Bowser: "(Gulp) Mario…I…I…"

Toad: "Eww, this feels like some nasty gay movie!!!"

Mario: "Bowser, I swear, I…I'll beat the shit out of you!!!"

Bowser: "Grrr…..I'll always hate you for this, Mario…ALWAYS!!!!" Bowser moaned.

Mario: "Wait! Wha!? Wha!? NOOO!!!!!"

Everyone gasped…Daisy fainted…

Bowser grabbed Mario by the shoulders, and began to…to…make out….with him……

Koopa: "Dude...I'm gettin all of this..."

Mario tried to get away, but he was too paralyzed to move an inch. Bowser started to lick all over the inside of his mouth…

Peach: "Oh…my…gawd…" Peach began to get sick, and ran to the bathroom, vomiting all over everything. Everyone else was frozen, watching the kissing Mario and Bowser.

Kammy: "Oh gawd…eww…he's gonna kill me…1...uuh….2…4…3…4……..uh…"

Kammy hesitated, shocked by the situation. Bowser was about to vomit inside Mario's mouth. Mario was almost unconscious.

"5..6……..7…"

Kammy couldn't finish. Bowser was too wrapped up in embarrassment and pain to realize she was stretching the time….

"…..8…..uhh….uhh….9….."

Almost done…

"(cough)….10!"

Bowser was done. He threw Mario away from his lips, now covered in saliva, turned around, and kneeled.

Bowser: "I…I…can't believe…I just did that…I'm gonna hurl!!!"

He ran off to the bathroom, ready to explode. He, as well as Peach, was vomiting all over the toilets. The amount of beer they drank only increased how sick they became. Mario was thrown against the wall, knocked out. The others were staring at Mario…

Luigi: "Mario!!! You ok!?" Luigi ran over to his aid, the others just sat there…then…they also rushed over to the bathrooms, sick as can be, tripping and coughing on their way. Every toilet was occupied.

Kammy: "Ok, then…I GUESS THIS IS A BAD TIME TO SAY THAT THEY PUT SOMETHING IN THOSE DRINKS!!!"

Everyone: "WHAT!?" That made for more disgusting things.

Kammy: "JUST KIDDIN'!!!

.:5 minutes of very disgusting noises and slop later:.

Bowser walked out of the bathroom. He was dizzy, and was now an empty-belly.

Bowser: "Did I….did I just kiss Mario…I made out with him!? It felt like…like I just died and my spirit was being harassed by some homosexual ice-cream man asking me if he wants to come in back and get some 'Popsicles'…Just gotta try to forget all the pain…"

Mario: "Wha…..what happened…did he…He just-a-violated me!! Eww!!!" Mario began to spit all over the floor. "Gawd, Bowser, you homo!"

Bowser: "I only did it cause I had to!!! Would you rather get whipped?"

"Yeah…"

"Shut up."

"You're gay."

"I did that to save your dignity!! Sort of…"

"I don't want any of your gay dignity."

"….Oh shut up…"

Everyone else started to pour out of the bathroom.

Waluigi: "IT SMELLS LIKE DIARRHEA IN-A-THERE!"

Luigi: "Obvious!"

Peach: "Diddy, stop humping my leg!"

DK: "I CAN'T BREATHE!!!"

Toadette: "I like pie…"

Toad: "…(Sigh) Sometimes…I swear…you're a complete ass."

Toadette: "WHAT!?" Toad got slapped.

Daisy: "Waluigi and Wario won't stop poking me!!!"

Wario: "I don't know…it looks like she doesn't have one….but then again…"

o0

Everyone now had that image out of their minds. Bowser, now disturbed and scared, walks to his position on the board. Mario, trying to ignore this by blaming it on Bowser, crossed his arms and tried to forget.

DK: "Ok, that scared me…we should definitely move on now…who's turn is it!?"

Mario: "ME! Now wait."

Mario jumped, and hit his block with professionalism.

Luigi: "Show off."

Mario: "You can't do barely anything I can do, so shut up."

"Anything you can do, I can do betteeerrr."

"I can do anything better than yooouu."

"NO YA CAN'T!"

"YES I CAN!"

"NO YA CAN'T!"

"YES I CAN!"

"Anything you can do, I can do betteeerr."

"I can do anything better than YOO-"

They were interrupted by Bowser, who body-slammed Luigi.

Bowser: "Shut the hell up and move on before I kill you, dammit!!!"

Peach: "Aww….I thought it was cute…"

"No, Peach, no it wasn't."

"You can't tell me what it was. I KNOW CUTE!!!"

"I know. Heh, I can tell by looking at you."

"I can't tell by looking at YOU."

Mario: "MOVIN' ON!!!"

Mario got a 6.

"Dammit, right where Bowser is…no shop."

Goomba: "YOU'VE GOTTA COME IN HERE SOMETIME!!! I'LL MAKE YOU IF I HAVE TO!!! I DON'T GET PAID!!!"

Bowser: "Yeah you do!!!"

Mario: "Hmph. Hate you Bowser. Hurt my feelings."

Bowser: "I'm sooo sorry. Want some of my tears?"

"Cry me a river, bitch."

"How bout' a fist in your face!?"

Diddy: "Ooo, Ooo! Gay lovers!"

Mario: "And who…are you?"

Diddy: "….Gay lover."

"I hate-a-you."

Dixie: "Shut up and move!!!"

Mario moved to Bowser's spot, and stayed 2 feet away…

Mario: "Not letting you touch me again."

Bowser: "Not gonna argue!!!"

Ludwig: "Umm…the chapter'z about up. We do….what now?"

Roy: "Sit there and wave, don't let them know…"

"What?"

………

**KBF: What a twist. I liked i-OW! WHY'D YOU PUNCH ME!?!?**

**Bowser: I….kissed Mario…I AM GOING TO KILL YOU….**

**KBF: What? But it was for the viewers!!! No…please no…NO!!! NO!!!!**

**Bowser: Don't worry; I'll still tell the story after you're gone…."**

**KBF: "MARIO!!! LUI-Oh wait…he can't help...YOSHI!!!! NO!!!!"**


	7. Competition Can Be Wild

**Competition Can Be Wild…**

**I don't own any Mario Characters. I wish I owned Bowser. He's badass!! It seems Mario and Bowser are the ones I'm concentrating on...I think...but I also think you'll see why I am concentrating on the two in this chapter. I sorta have writer's block...In the next chapter, it may be focused on those two again...But I'll try to get some others in!**

**Bowser: It looks like I almost killed the author. He's in the hospital right now, I had to carry him to the emergency room…**

**Peach: I saw the whole thing!!! But he kind of deserved it…I think…**

**Bowser: Hi, Peach! What are you doin' here?**

**Peach: Umm…I don't know…**

**Bowser: Want to stay for the story? I'd like it if you did…and I have cookies with you on them...**

**Peach: Umm…sure..?**

**Bowser: Awsome!**

Mario was done with his turn. Although, there was no mini-game. It was now Dixie's turn.

Dixie: "This is gonna be short, am I right?"

Bowser: "Depends. The longer ya stay, the more ya win."

Everyone: "Stayin' till morning!!!"

Bowser: "….Good…?"

Dixie: "Ok. Here we go."

Wario: "I need another drink."

Wario heads to the bar AGAIN. This time, Bowser, Mario, Diddy, and Roy also go as well.

Diddy: "Wow. Everyone wants beer."

Roy: "So? It's gewwdd…."

Bowser: "….You're just lucky I'm letting you drink, Roy. I know Ludwig's responsible enough, but are you…?"

"Sure I am!"

Wario: "How bout' we have a drinking contest!?"

Everyone: "A CONTEST!?"

At that time, everyone headed over to the bar, leaving Dixie alone and angry.

Dixie: "HEY! IT'S STILL MY TURN!!!" Being ignored, she decides to go as well, to stay with the crowd…

Mario: "I'm gonna win!!! I'm the best drunk here!!!"

DK: "No, I am!!!"

Bowser: "I hope you're not gonna do anything idiotic when you're drunk…"

"I'm not even gonna say anything about that."

"Good."

"SHUT UP!!! STOP INTIMIDATING ME!!!"

Wario: "Let's just get it started!!!"

Yoshi: "I am going to LOVE this…"

Ludwig: "I'm not going to join…zeemz ztupid…"

Roy: "Aww, come on, Luddy! It'll be fun!"

"Hmph…fine…"

Bowser: "Hey, barkoopa. Set us up, will ya?"

Barkoopa: "Alright, comin' up!"

Kammy: "I have a better idea!"

Suddenly, all players were teleported to a room with pictures of glasses of overflowing beer, and the words "CHUG!" all over them.

Bowser: "Kammy! Where are we!?"

Kammy: "You wanted a drinking contest, right? That appears to be one of the mini-games! SO, why don't we put some coins on the line?"

Luigi: "Sounds-a-good to me!"

Mario: "Let's-a-go!"

Kammy: " There's prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place! You may put in as many as you'd like, but don't bet too high!!!"

Bowser: "I don't care! I'm putting in all my coins!" Bowser was one of the best in the party at this type of thing, so he had full confidence.

Mario: "Me too!" Mario was also one of the best.

Luigi: "Umm…5 coins…" Luigi wasn't as good as his brother, and he always has low self-esteem…

Toadette: "None…I'm not even gonna even try!"

Toad: "5!"

Yoshi: "All of them!" Yoshi…well nobody really knew if he had ever drunk anything other than nasty, dirty pond water.

Peach: "None…I don't want to."

Daisy: "Me neither. Seems pointless."

DK: "All of them!" With DK's attitude, you could assume he's pretty good at this.

Diddy: "Uh, 5." Diddy has tried before, but always lost…

Dixie: "Not trying."

Wario: "All of them!" Wario was pretty good too. Seems like those four would be the main competition.

Waluigi: "Uh, 5."

Ludwig: "Matter of fact, I'm not going to participate. As Daisy said, seemz pointlezz."

Bowser: "Well, alright…"

Roy: "Chicken! Umm…6?" Roy wanted to participate, but he knew his dad. Roy knew he wouldn't win.

Kammy: "Well, that's everyone. Here." Kammy made one giant table appear, with 10 chairs. "Time to get started! Grab a chair and get ready!"

Mario and Luigi: "Here-we-go!!!"

A bang is heard, and glasses of beer appear in front of everyone. They all start drinking, some fast, some slow. All 10 of them started to choke down the drinks.

Roy: "Tastes good…next!"

Mario: "I'm gonna kick everyone's ass!"

Everyone: "Oh, really!?"

It was on. Mario's rant made the match go even faster. Everyone was literally choking on beer now. 5 sets down! And…some started to slow down a little…

Toad: "Guh…I can keep goin'."

Luigi: "What's wrong, Toad? Too much for ya?"

"No…"

Diddy: "Ooo! Ooo! More!"

DK: Wow, he's never been like this." DK thought.

They were done 3 more sets…and Toad was beginning to back down…

Toad: "Ugh…too…much…" Toad, overwhelmed by how much he drank, fell over and vomited all over Daisy's shoes.

Daisy: "EWW! TOAD, YOU BASTARD!!!" Daisy began to pummel Toad with her purse. Meanwhile, the competition was through it's 10 set marker. Yoshi and Diddy began to sway…

Yoshi: "Aww…dammit…" Yoshi vomited downwards, all over himself, and fell off his chair.

Diddy: "Ow…sorta hurts…" Diddy hit his head on the table and fell over, knocked out.

Bowser: "HA! Three down, seven ta go! And not even drunk yet!"

Mario: "Me neither, fatass."

Bowser: "Grrrrrr..."

Luigi: "I'm fine…"

DK: "Let's go then!"

Roy: "I'm still here!"

Wario: "I'm-a-gonna win!"

Waluigi: "I'm fine, too! Mabye I'll win!"

The eleventh set was finished. The twelfth appeared, and Waluigi was feeling down…he was swaying a bit.

Waluigi: "I…I'm not…out yet..!"

Luigi: "You look like you are."

"I think…I think so…" Waluigi fell back in his chair, vomiting on his way down.

Kammy: "Wow, it's gonna be a mess. Luckily, this isn't the game room!"

Finally, at the 14th set, Roy was feeling dizzy…

Ludwig: "I zink zou are done…"

Roy: "Yeah…(Burp) Ow…"

He fell backwards, but Ludwig caught him. Then, Roy vomited in Ludwig's face!!! He let Roy go, Roy fell to the ground, still choking, and Ludwig started to vomit all over him.

Ludwig: "Ugh…Dizgusting!!! Huu-"

Peach: "EWW!!! NASTY!!!"

Toadette: "Boys are so immature…"

Now, the real competition started. They were already on the 19th set.

Kammy: "Gawd, how much can a guy drink!? This is impossible!!!"

Bowser: "(Burp) I'm just getting' started!"

Mario: "Oh, it's-a-on!"

DK: "AAOO! AAOO!" DK was beating his chest.

Luigi: "(BURP) Ugh…I might be out soon…"

On the 21st set, Luigi was right. He swayed to the left, then to the right…then fell over, knocked out.

Mario: "Bro? Crap. Well…it's me, Bowser, Wario, and DK…"

Wario: "Aug…I'm not-a-givin' up!"

Bowser: "You should. Take Mario with ya."

Mario: "Screw you!"

On the 23rd set, Wario was out. He slid out of his seat, and had a large...gas leak, which stunk…very badly…

Mario: "Oh my gawd Wario!!! What was that!?!?"

Bowser: "Dammit!! Someone get some spray!!!"

DK: "Oh gawd…I can't take it…too…disgusting…"

DK, having taken in too much gas, fell backwards, but he broke the chair under his weight…

Bowser: "Hmm…that leaves just you…and me Mario…"

Mario: "Like you're…gonna win."

"I plan to!"

"Your-a-plans never work."

Kammy: "Ok, ok. Last two. DK already has 3rd place, so both of you are gonna win. But…who's gonna win 1st?"

Mario and Bowser: "ME!!!"

Kammy: "Let's find out!!!"

And so, the 24th set starts. Both Mario and Bowser aren't giving up. They're both matched!

Kammy: "This is barely realistic..."

Luigi: "Bro…? Go-a-Mario!!!" Luigi awoke and cheered his brother on.

Ludwig and Roy: "Go Dad, Go!!!"

The others just repeatedly said "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" as the match went on. The two were already on the 27th, and both started to slow down a little.

Mario: "What's wrong? Can't go on?"

Bowser: "Looks like that for you!"

"Oh yeah!?"

"YEAH!"

"Come on then!!!"

Both were starting to tire. 30th set. Both were dizzy. Their eyes were halfway open. They started to pant deeply. Bowser just finished his 31st. The crowd was still going…it was tense…

Bowser: "Come…on! Finish it…"

Mario: "(Continuous gulps) There…d-…done…"

Kammy: "Looks like the next one may be the last set!"

Mario: "I'm going…to win!"

Bowser: "Not if you croak first…!

Kammy: "Well, this has been defiant of everything about living! You two should probably be dead by now!!!"

The 32nd set. Both picked up their glasses, and hesitated. But, they came to and put the glass to their mouths. It was hard to swallow. Slowly…until Mario froze in the middle of it all. Bowser was still going, but nowhere near done. Mario flinched a couple of times, but couldn't finish and put his glass down. He was about to give in…But then, Bowser also couldn't finish. He was trying to push down the last of his glass…Mario finally gave in and vomited downwards onto himself, then slammed his head onto the table, unconscious.

Roy: "Dad…won…?

Ludwig: "I zink zo…"

Bowser: "(Grumble) Ugh…damn...it…" He thought.

But then, Bowser vomited on the table and slammed his head right into the mess, then dropped his glass, unconscious as well.

Peach: "What…what happened?"

Roy: "Dad!?"

Diddy: "Whoa! Ahh Ahh!!" He screeched.

Toadette: "Who won!?"

Kammy: "Well…they both went unconscious at the same time…"

Wario: "Dammit…I didn't make it…"

Waluigi: "What does that mean?"

Yoshi: "Gawd!!!"

Kammy: "I think technically Mario was first to go down…but since it was so close, I'll call it a draw. Since there was no 2rd place, DK will get 2nd place's prize of 20 coins, and 3rd place's 15 coins will be given to everyone. 15 coins to all. Well, except DK, Bowser, and Mario, of course.

Daisy: "Cool!"

Peach: "EWW!!! Clean this mess!!!"

Then, everyone was teleported back to the game room. Bowser and Mario were still knocked out, now laying on the floor.

Luigi: "Mario! Wake up!"

Ludwig: "Dad? Are zou awake?"

Luigi and Roy went to go get some water. They came out with a cup of water, and splashed it on them. Bowser woke up first.

Bowser: "WHA!? WHA!? Huh? Where am I…

He was still dizzy, swaying a little. Then, the fuzziness started to go away little by little.

"Hey…we're back in this room…wait…the contest? What happened?"

Roy: "You fell unconscious."

"I KNOW THAT! I mean who won?"

Kammy: "You and Mario tied…"

Bowser: "Tied? Dammit! Grrrr…I should've won…"

Ludwig: "Zou almozt did. You stopped, and threw-up on ze table…zen, you went unconsciouz..."

Bowser: "Aww dammit!"

Mario: "What? Tying is good too. Sand in your vagina, right?" Mario woke up shortly after, standing with his legs shaking a little.

Bowser: "I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!!! I mean…I DON'T HAVE ONE!!!"

"Suuuuure."

Yoshi: "EY! I'm getting' hungry. Where's the food!?"

Bowser: "Glad ya mentioned food…(Cough)...Kammy?"

Kammy: "Yes sir!"

"That was different."

"I know. Heh."

Kammy took a wave of her wand, and everyone was transported to a large dining room!

Peach: "Wow…this is pretty…so beautiful…"

Diddy: "Cool…"

Bowser: "Yeah, I know."

The walls were white, with yellow in some places. There were pictures of many things, from Koopa Kings and Queens to pictures that Bowser Jr. drew. There was a giant chandelier in the middle of the ceiling, with candles on the edges. A long table with a white sheet covering it sat in the middle of the room, the chairs were a light brown color with red cushioning. Red plates with silver forks, spoons, and knives, even a red, wrapped napkin, each specifically placed, sat at every seat.

Wario: "I call end seat!"

Waluigi: "(Sigh) I'd better go with-a-him…" The two ran off for the end seat all the way in the back.

Daisy: "Come on, Peach! Let's go get a seat in the middle!" Daisy grabbed her hand and pulled her.

Peach: "Whoa, ok hold on!" She stumbled to keep up with Daisy.

Yoshi: "I'll go…somewhere then…"

Diddy: "Dad, Dixie, over here!"

DK: "Alright, alright…Dixie?"

Dixie: "Coming!"

Toad: "Woman, come on!!! Don't screw with your make-up now! No one's noticing you!"

Toadette: "Shut…..up….."

Luigi: "Come on, let's go sit-a-with Peach and Daisy, Mario!"

Mario: "Okay, then, let's-a-go."

Bowser: "Hmph. I should be sitting next to her. But, I guess I have the end seat…"

Ludwig: "Roy, we'll sit next to Dad, I guess."

Roy: "Alright."

Bowser and the two sons walk to their seats. Meanwhile, everyone else is fiddling with their utensils, and talking. Wario was making a utensil pyramid.

Bowser: "Roy? If you'd do the honors?"

Roy: "With pleasure!" Roy found a nearby closet and took out a megaphone. He walked up to the table and took in a big breath…

Roy: "HEY!!! EVERYONE!!! LISTEN UP!!!!"

Mario: "OH MY GAWD!!! YOU BLEW MY EAR OUT!!!"

Peach: "I HURT!!!"

Toadette: "Umm….I wasn't paying attention…say that again?"

Everyone: "NO!!!" Everyone fell over….anime style…again…

Bowser: "Ahem…now…You all wanted food? I'll give ya food…Until you die!!! BUAHAHAHAAHA!!!!"

Everyone flinched, and had an angry face glaring at Bowser.

Bowser: "Uhh…maybe I should cut out the sarcastic-ness…

DK: "Ya think!?"

Ludwig: "We're all here to have a fine dining…so…let'z get on with it…Bowzer?"

Bowser: "Uh…good. Right. BEGIN THE FEAST!"

And then, Koopa after Koopa after Goomba brought in giant pots of food, small to huge. Though the Goombas brought them in on their heads. The Koopas swirled in their shells with pots on top, and each Goomba and Koopa were dancing or jumping, while still balancing their pot. They begin to lay down the pots, assorted appropriately, and set so perfectly it rivaled Peach's way of dining. There was no flaw, no misplacement, all part of a routine Bowser hadn't even taught them. Although, Bowser didn't have feasts every night, unlike Peach, Toad, and anyone else who lived with her.

Daisy: "This is so nice…"

Mario: "Hmph. If I was-a-rich, my castle would look MUCH better than this…"

Bowser: "Too bad you're not. You're just a dirty little plumber, aren't you?"

"That's it, I've had enough of your mouth!!!" He got up, and-

Peach: "MARIO, SIT DOWN!!" Peach was amazed by Bowser's way of living in his castle. It's so much like her's, but so different…

Mario: "Yes m'am!!!" Mario sat back down, thinking of what Peach would do to him if he messed this up, and why she even did that…

Bowser: "Wow…thank you…Peach...Anyway, go ahead and open the pots!"

Everyone: "Huh?"

Everyone opened the pots, and many delectable dishes were revealed! Steamed lobster, lasagna, spaghetti, many spicy foods, rice, corn, corn-bread, anything of your heart's desire!

Luigi: "Oh ye! Lasagna! My favorite!"

Diddy: "Banana-Sandwiches! He's got everything!"

Wario: "Oh ye!!! Steaks! Mmm…"

Bowser: "Anything you could think of is here, and if there's something you want, we'll get it for you."

DK: "Nice! I know TWO rich people! YAY! Duh-…I mean…MMM food?"

Mario: "Uh-huh. Hey, spaghetti! MINE!" He grabbed the plate before anyone else could.

Bowser: "Mkay…I need something spicy…"

Everyone else was piggin' out. Wario was scarfing down food while also dropping some on himself…Food was being passed back and forth, while requests to pass food were being given…

Mario: "GIMME THE LASAGNA, NOW!!!"

Luigi: "THEN GIMME THE SPAGHETTI!

DK: "BANANA NOW!!!"

Daisy: "I WANT SOME STEAK! WARIO STOP HOGGIN' IT!"

Wario: "IT'S MINE!!!"

Peach: "DIDDY, I WANT LOBSTER!!!"

Diddy: "GET YOUR OWN, WOMAN!"

"YOU HAVE IT ALL!"

"FINE! TAKE IT!"

Toadette: "PASS THE SEASONING!!!!"

Dixie: "SAY PLEASE!"

"NOW PLEASE!!!"

"NO!!!!"

Yoshi: "THAT WAS MY EYE!!!"

Ludwig: "Thiz is madnezz!"

Roy: "Madness? THIS, IS, BOW-" Ludwig shoved a potato in his mouth.

Bowser: "If this gets any more out of hand, there might be a food fight! Awsome!"

And so, the eating continues. What happens now? Too bad the chappie's over. Review and request mini-games please! Things gets a little more interesting in the next chapter…

**Bowser: Well…that was awesome…**

**Peach: I'm amazed…your castle isn't so bad…it's beautiful in some places…and the way you present is flawless!**

**Bowser: Wow…thanks…I uhh…never though you'd recognize something like that…**

**Peach: Ok…well…bye then?**

**Bowser: Wait! You don't want to stay with me for a little longer!? **

**Peach: Not really…**

**Bowser: Fine. Break my heart. Go see your precious little plumber boy. Bye.**

**Peach: What? Bye...?**

**Bowser: Hmph…**


	8. Why Can't we be Friends?

Why Can't we be Friends?

Oops...seems I made a mistake with the chapter! If anyone has read this already, please do read it again! Or at least the end...

Bowser: "Wow…it's a mess now…crap…"

Everyone was done eating, and the place was a pigsty. Food all over the tables, with some food still available, everyone had food-faces, and…well everything was a mess…

"I have to clean this crap up later…great."

Roy: "Don't worry, I'm sure Ludwig will help ya."

Ludwig: "You're going to help too!"

"Uhh, no…"

Bowser: "Uhh, yeah!"

"Hmph…"

Peach: "EWW!!! I got lobster all over me…" She began to brush it off with her hands.

Daisy: "Oh, don't freak out. Let's just go to the bathroom."

"Ok…"

Toadette: "Wait for me!"

Dixie: "I'll come too!"

Meanwhile, all of the guys just brushed themselves off and started to get impatient.

Waluigi: "Hey, let's get back to the board now!"

Bowser: "We have to wait for Dixie and Daisy…and Peach…"

Mario: "Forget-a-them, let's just go!"

Luigi: "Nah, we can wait. Let's-a-go see what they're doing…"

Wario: "I'm up for-a-that!" Wario said, shaking his fists up and down.

Bowser: "Okay…perverts…wait for me!"

Mario: "Come on then!!!"

Yoshi!!!!

They all ran to peek inside of the womens' bathroom, apparently at the perfect time…the girls were taking their clothes off…and only had minor clothing visible…

Wario: "Ooo hee-hee!! Sexy ladies…"

Luigi: "Shut up! They'll hear us!"

Peach: "WHO'LL HEAR YOU!?" She walked up to them. All the women had their clothes back on, and were glaring at the men angrily…

Mario: "Uh…umm…the koopas and goombas! They're trying to eavesdrop…on us?"

Daisy: "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard!!!"

Bowser: "Nice excuse, idiot!"

Mario: "Shut up…no, no no! WAIT I-" The women attacked, grabbing the men and punching and kicking them, giving them black-eyes…They were trying to kill the men…and were succeeding!!! Mario was crushed underneath their weight, coughing multiple times...

Daisy: "COME HERE, LUIGI HONEY!!!"

Luigi: "Bro!? Crap!!! You killed him!!! Oowaahhh!!! Daisy, wai-" Daisy attacked Luigi, clawing his eyes out with her perfectly manicured nails, and soon, he was dead too…

Yoshi: "Retreat! RETREAT!!! AAAHHH!!!" Daisy pounced onto Yoshi, who gave him the worst beating of his life.

DK: "Get off! OW! STOP!!! NO!!!" DK was also being beaten to death…

Bowser: "Oh my gawd…they've gone crazy!!! RUN!!!"

Toad: "Wait, baby, I'm sorry!!! NO!!!"

Toadette: "Too bad! DIE!!!!" She grabbed him, and started mashing his face into the ground.

Waluigi: "RUN, WARIO! DON'T-A-STARE!!!"

Wario: "But it's-a-so hot…"

All Women: "HEEEYA!!" They all tackled Wario, and Waluigi was next.

Waluigi: "Wait! I…I'll give you all my coins…!" This didn't appeal to them, and only ended up with him getting knocked out.

Toadette: "Three more, girls!!"

Bowser: "Wait, what!? I'm the host, you can't kill me!! Stay away!!!" Bowser ran into the near hallway, and hid behind a door.

Roy: "DAD!? DON'T LEAVE US!!! WAAH!!!"

Ludwig: "Ladiez, calm down!!!" Roy was thrown into Ludwig, who caught him.

Roy: "Dad, run!!! (Cough)"

But, they then were mauled to death by all the women.

Bowser: "Roy!? Ludwig!? Anyone!?!? HELP!!!"

Women: "Come out, come out…"

Bowser started to shake. He ran into the corner of the dark room, and waited…Everyone else was dead…he was the last…

Bowser: "What the hell has gotten into them?!"

Diddy: "I don't know!"

"What the...where'd you come fro-Never mind, just shut up!"

There was a thump. Another. Then, the doorknob was turning. Bowser's claws were planted into the wall. He was grinding his teeth, about to go mad with fear. Diddy pissed himself. Then, the door slowly opened…

Bowser: "This is it…They're gonna kill us!!!"

All of a sudden, the door was kicked open, and women flooded the room! Luckily, the room was dark. No one could see.

Peach: "I can't see! WHERE ARE THEY!?"

Toadette: "I don't know!!! Feel around!!!"

Bowser maneuvered carefully to avoid the womens' wrath. But…he came across…a light switch…

Bowser: "Ow…what was that…I hit my head…wait…why can I see…oh no…THAT WAS THE LIGHT SWITCH!!! CRAP!!!"

Diddy: "You idiot!"

Daisy: "HEY, THERE THEY ARE!!!"

Bowser: "Wait, ladies, we can settle this!!! Just calm down!!! Wait…why do you have that axe…a sword!? What the-wait!"

Peach: "Bye, idiots!!!!"

They all held up their weapons, and prepared to kill!

Bowser: "KAAAAMMMMYYYY!!!!!!! NOOOO-" Bowser was cut off by an axe to the head. There was blood everywhere, blood on the women, blood on the floor, Bowser and Diddy were impaled with sharp objects.

Kammy: "Bowser!? What was that!?" She rushed to the scene.

"(Cough) Dammit…" And Bowser fell over, dead. Diddy was crushed by his size.

Peach: "We…we killed all of them…what have we done!?"

Daisy: "I killed my Luigi!!! NOOO!!! AHHH!!!"

Toadette: "I had no problems with this."

Dixie: "Me neither!! High 5!"

Peach: "Are you crazy!?" She ran over to Bowser, and began to cry, thinking of all the people they just killed.

Kammy: "What have you done!? You've killed every male in this room!!!"

Daisy: "Yeah…we know…"

"Well…you're lucky I can bring them back. I can only do it once per year, for one day."

Peach: "YAY! So…we're not in trouble!?"

Kammy: "They'll remember…but uh…I dunno. Here we go…" She waved her wand, and it began to glow. She touched everyone that died with it, and they each floated in the air, with magical energy surrounding them. Then, they sprung back to life, with their wounds healed.

Bowser: "Wha…what happened…"

Peach: "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" Peach ran over and hugged him, then began to kiss him on both cheeks.

Bowser: "Eh-heh…heh..."

Peach, realizing what she was doing, threw herself away from Bowser, and became furious, red with anger.

Peach: "YOU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR GOOD!"

Bowser: "What, wha!?"

Before he knew it, another sword came in contact with his head, killing him again.

Kammy: "STOP IT! I don't want to clean up blood! And you're all crazy!" She exclaimed, while bringing Bowser back to life.

Peach: "Fine...whatever. Mario?"

Peach ran off in search of Mario. Meanwhile, the others were recovering. Peach hugged Mario, who tried to get away. Daisy was choking Luigi.


	9. Insert Chaos Here

_**Well, looks like this one won't have anyone's turn in it…I just had to get this out there. BEWARE, THIS CHAPTER STARTS THE M RATED STORY THAT UNFOLDS…don't worry, no lemon, or at least too much of it, I think.**_

I really think Peach is having some sort of problem in my fic right now, as you will see later in this chapter, or something. Mario is a little slow, Daisy spends time with Luigi, Bowser is having a problem, Wario and Waluigi...you'll see...DK and the crew, Toad, Yoshi, and multiple others, walk off.

Time for some chaos!

Bowser: "Well…now that every woman in this room is satisfied with their BLOODLUST, maybe we could move on?"

Mario: "Umm…where are-a-the others?"

Wario: "I told you we-a-shouldn't have come out here!"

Waluigi: "What!? You left and I just-a-followed!"

Earlier, Wario and Waluigi were standing by the boardroom door. Wario, confused and bored once again, wandered off into the nearby hallway. Waluigi watched, and followed, for his somewhat brother's (?) safety. They came across hallways, and hallways...and hallways. And soon…they were lost in the vast building which was Bowser Castle.

Waluigi: "Well, we're-a-lost now. Let's find our way back, Wario. Wario?"

Wario ran straight through another hallway. He longed for adventure, or just something to keep him occupied. Even though there was still the board…

Yoshi: "Aww great. How'd I end up in this room? Where is everyone!? Gawd-dammit!"

The angry dinosaur was lost as well. He left, for no apparent reason, seeing Wario and Waluigi gone. A koopa snuck up to him from behind.

Koopa: "State your business here, Green Yoshi."

Yoshi: "What? What do you care!?"

Koopa: "I said state your business!"

Yoshi: "No thank you, bitches!"

He ran off, leaving the confused Koopa to himself.

Koopa: "No one likes me…why!? WHY!?"

He took out a gun, and prepared to shoot himself.

A shot could be heard through the entire castle.

DK: "Jesus, what was that!?"

Diddy: "Your ass is what it was."

Dixie: "Shut up, Diddy! Uncle, are we lost?"

DK: "Uh, yeah Dixie. Come on, let's keep going."

Suddenly, Yoshi came running, knocking them all over in the process.

Diddy: "What in the banana-fuck was that!?"

DK: "Watch your mouth! Mother fucker…"

Dixie: "You two are a bunch of assholes!"

Obviously, you can see that Donkey Kong is a BAD uncle.

DK: "Come on, get up. We need to get back already."

Dixie: "Why'd we leave?"

DK: "No idea."

Luigi: "Mario? Daisy? Peach? Bowser?"

The Four: "Yeah…?"

Luigi: "Where'd everyone go?"

Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, and Bowser were still in the boardroom. Peach walked outside, and looked around. Bowser soon followed.

Peach: "Bowser, did you see anyone leave?"

Bowser: "Nope. Hey, I hear something next door. Let me check…"

He walked to the nearby door. Slowly turning the doorknob, he noticed a small amount of smoke coming from underneath of the door. It was now fully open, and he gazed upon what he saw:

Three koopas. One was smoking a rather large cigarette. He had a bandana on. That "Hardcore Don't-Mess-With-Me" look. One other was a copy of Lemmy Koopa, Naruto Uzumaki and Morton Koopa; Hyperactive Loudmouth. He dressed as if mentally retarded. The last one was just a normal koopa…or so the others thought.

Bowser: "Uh…umm…have any of you seen-"

Koopa #1: "Hey! You're the guy on the video!"

Bowser: "Video? What video?"

Koopa #2: "Yeahhe'stheonekissingthatMarioguy!"

Bowser: "Kissing Mari-What!? How'd you find out!?"

Koopa #1: "Oh, so you DID!?"

Bowser: "NO!"

Koopa #3: "Hey, it doesn't matter. We still got the footage. And now, time for revenge. You get us the Princess, or we send a copy of the video to everyone in the Kingdom, including your little friends!"

Bowser: "What!? Give me that tape! NOW!"

Koopa: "Do what we said."

Bowser: "…Oh gawd…"

Wario: "Waluigi, listen!"

Waluigi: "What? What is it?"

They listened, to hear a screeching noise.

Waluigi: "It's comin from this-a-room! Come on."

They walked in, to find the dungeon. It was covered with dangerous weapons, which all had blood on them. Black-ish blue, brick walls, chains, sharp objects, what every dungeon looks like.

Wario: "Damn, Bowser...torture?"

Waluigi: "Gay torture!"

Wario stumbled upon a set of chains.

Wario: "Hey Waluigi, come-a-here for a second."

Waluigi: "What?"

Wario: "Touch this." He pointed at the chains.

Waluigi, as gullible as he is, poked the chains. Suddenly, they grabbed onto him, pulling him in. Then, they wrapped around him, not letting any part of his body move.

Waluigi: "Wario! What the hell did you do!?"

Wario: "I dunno. OH look, beer!"

He picked up a small glass of beer on the counter nearest him. He drank the whole glass, sighing in satisfaction.

Wario: "That was good…hmm…I feel weird…"

Waluigi: "Get-a-me down!"

Wario started to shake, and wobble back and forth. He became dizzy, and confused.

Wario: "Who…are you…"

Waluigi: "I'm your…umm…get me down!"

Wario: "Waluigi…there's snakes on the plane…"

Waluigi: "Wha!?"

Wario: "Waluigi…"

He looked next to Waluigi, and saw a long whip. He took hold of it, and got into a ready stance. Then, for no apparent reason, he stripped Waluigi of his clothes, and his eyes started to force tears out.

Wario: "WALUIGI! THERE'S SNAKES ON THE PLANE!!!"

Waluigi: "What the hell are you talking about!? Where'd my clothes go!? WHAT THE HELL ARE-A-YOU DOING!?"

Wario pulled the whip back, and whipped Waluigi with all his force. Waluigi let out a cry of pain.

Waluigi: "What the…stop it!"

He continued to whip him, as he screamed:

"WALUIGI! THERE'S SNAKES ON THE MOTHER FUCKING PLANE! THE MOTHER FUCKING PLANE! SNAKES! EVERYWHERE! STOP IT! STOP IT! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!"

He was stuck in a flashback of when he was watching that movie. Ya know the one I'm talkin about.

Yoshi: "Where is everyone…?"

Yoshi was still running to find the others. Then, he came across a room filled with laughter. He looked inside to find Bowser Jr., sitting with his brothers. The Koopalings were devising a plan to prank everyone in the castle. Yoshi stayed, to see what they were planning to do.

Toad: "Toadette, woman, my somebody, hurry up."

Toadette: "Shut up or I'll take away Sprinkles again!!!"

Toad: "You'll never separate me from my pet doggy!"

Toadette: "Wanna bet?"

Toad: "No…"

Toadette: "Good. Now let's go."

The two ran through some hallways, lost, like everyone else. There was a shining room. A very shining…er…shiny…room. As they approached, two hands reached out, and pulled them in, without a sound.

Luigi: "Daisy!"

Daisy: "Luigi!"

Luigi: "Daisy!"

Daisy: "Luigi!"

Luigi: "I just saved 5 on car insurance by switching to-

Daisy: "That's nice, but I don't care, and that wasn't funny! But yeah…"

Luigi: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

Daisy: "Wait! I wanted to-"

Luigi ran off, to empty his bladder, leaving Daisy a little angry…Meanwhile, outside of the room…

Bowser: "Peach…"

Peach: "Yes, Bowser?"

Bowser: "Can you forgive me…?"

Peach: "For what?"

Bowser: "I'm saving my reputation. Sorry."

The King picked Peach up, and hefted her onto his shoulder. She didn't struggle too much; this happened a lot. Then, Bowser ran into the room filled with Koopas again, this time with his half of the deal.

Koopa #1: "Hmm…I see you have her."

Bowser: "Yeah, now gimme that tape!"

Peach: "What's going on here!?"

Koopa #3: "Shut up! Give us the princess first!"

Bowser: "Fine."

He slowly put Peach down on the floor in front of their beds, and backed away. The second Koopa hopped from the bed he laid on to a small drawer. He opened it, to reveal the tape, and threw it to Bowser.

Bowser: "You three are gonna get it…"

Koopa #2: "Wehavemoresoshutyourface."

Bowser: "What!? Hand them over!"

Koopa #1: "The deal was one tape, so sorry. Just do what we say, and you'll get the rest. Now leave."  
Bowser: "Dammit…sorry Peach…I know these guys…they…oh gawd forgive me!"

He ran out, knowing the consequences of his actions, and slammed the door shut. Peach flew at it, attempting to knock the door down. But Bowser wouldn't let her. Mario suddenly ran to the scene.

Peach: "Let me out! I don't like Koopa freaks!"

Koopa #2: "Comeheresexy!"

Peach: "What!? NO! Get away from me!"

She struggled to get away, but it was of no use. They grabbed the Princess, and stripped her of the dress she wore…

Mario: "Bowser! What did you do!?"

Bowser: "I…I sent Peach…to hell…"

Mario: "WHAT!? YOU KILLED HER!?"

Bowser: "Yeah…I killed her…"

Mario: "You son-of-a-bitch!" He drew out his hammer, and prepared to attack.

Bowser: "NO! Not literally! I put her in that room…just…see for yourself…"

Mario walked over to the door, and looked through the keyhole. Three Koopas lay on the floor, dead and blood-ridden. Peach had blood on her as well, now with her dress back on. She turned red with anger. Peach was now the devil itself; she wanted to kill Bowser AGAIN. Mario jumped, scared and shaken.

Yoshi: "Hey, kids. Whatcha doin…"

Jr: "Hey, it's that Yoshi guy! Let's get im!!!!"

All Koopalings: "YEAH!!!"

Yoshi: "Gawd dammit!!!"

The dinosaur was pummeled with small bodies, and couldn't fight back. He couldn't breathe. Although, three of the koopalings were missing. Wendy, Morton, and Ludwig.

Yoshi: "You bastards…get off me!!!"

Roy: "I love a good fight!"

Iggy and Lemmy: "DOGPILE!!!"

Yoshi: "No…no no no NO NO!!!! That's it!"

Waluigi: "Wario…stop it…STOP IT, DAMMIT!"

Wario: "Wah!? What's goin on…?"

Wario was awakened by the sound of Waluigi's voice, after the 50th time he's said something.

Wario: "Eww! Put-a-some clothes on!" He said, lowering Waluigi.

Waluigi: "But you did it!"

Wario: "I have no idea what-a-you're talking about."

Waluigi: "Of course…" He put his clothes back on, feeling intense pain pain. "We need to get back…where's that fatty when you need him!?"

Wario: "Probably stuffin his fat face…"

Toad: "Where the hell are we!?"

Toadette: "Toad! I can't see! Hold me!"

Toad: "NO! I can't see either!"

Toadette: "Who's touching me? Wait…I feel…a burning feeling…"

Toad: "What?"

Toadette: "It…it hurts…hot…hot hot HOT HOT!!! OH MY GAWD!!! Toad help! My ass is burning I can feel it!"

Toad: "Whaddaya want me to do, spit on it!? I can't see!"

Toadette: "WAAAAHHH! THE PAIN!!!"

The burning she-toad scrambled out of the room, and ran through a couple of walls. Soon, she was outside. She ran into a nearby forest, not knowing where she was going. Soon, her ass set everything on fire, killing many animals and trees.

Toad: "What just happened!? Stupid author!"

Mario: "Okay, I have no idea what you did, but you're in trouble now!"

Bowser: "ME!? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KISSED ME!!!"

Mario: "If I remember right, YOU kissed ME! AND, I didn't do anything here. She's gonna kill you, and I get to watch!"

Bowser: "IT WAS YOU!"

Mario: "No…alright, that's it."

Mario backed away from the door, and it flew open. Peach stood in the doorway, steaming.

Bowser: "Oh…hi…Peachy…did you have a good time?"

Peach didn't respond; she only stared at him, and took short steps forward. Then, she ran at him, to tackle the Koopa.

Bowser: "Wait! I didn't mean it! I had to save myself! I mean…umm…uhh...Don't kill me again!!!" He yelled, running the opposite way.

Too late. She had already caught him.

Daisy: "Luigi? Where did you go?"

Luigi: "I'm over here! On the board!"

Luigi was near a game tile he uncovered.

Luigi: "Look…I found where Bowser hid all of the coins! And everyone else's revenues, too. I have an idea to keep everyone on the board. I'll just give everyone 40 coins. That way…520 coins will be gone, and the real competition will start!"

Daisy: "Good idea! If you didn't do that, this would go on until midnight tomorrow!"

Luigi: "Go me, oh yeah, I'm-a-Luigi, number one!" He shook his bootah.

Daisy: "Oh yeah, shake it baby!" She danced with him.

Yoshi stood next to Roy, Iggy, Lemmy, and Bowser Jr., holding a blood-stained knife. They were covered with blood. Jr.'s head wasn't connected to his body, Iggy's head was shoved into Lemmy's behind somehow, and Roy had one giant hole in his chest. Blood was everywhere.

Yoshi: "That'll teach those little bastards not to mess with me. Now…how to get back…"

He walked some more, until he stumbled into Toad. Toad stood there and stared, until he responded.

Toad: "Wow, you too?"

Yoshi: "Me too? Shut up and come on. Get on my back."

Toad: "Umm…okay…"

Yoshi: "Hey…where's your girl?"

Toad: "Her ass was on fire, and now she's gone!"

Yoshi: "Awesome, both our girls, or something, left!"

High-Fived!

Mario shook, as nearby, Peach laughed maniacally, standing over what was Bowser's decapitated body. Blood was everywhere. His head rolled into the board room. Peach then approached Mario, who couldn't move.

Peach: "There…that takes care of that…come, Mario, let's go inside!"

She grabbed the red plumber, and hauled him into the board room. Then, Mario woke himself, only to see Luigi and Daisy doing the chicken dance.

Mario: "Guys…what the hell are you doing…"

Luigi: "OH! Umm…nothing! Just havin fun!"

Daisy: "Yeah, what he said!"

Peach: "So…where are the others?"

Luigi: "Where's Bowser?"

Mario: "Peach killed him."

Daisy: "That's like the third time!!!"

Peach: "So? I like to kill him. It helps me get my anger out. Besides, Kammy will just bring him back."

Luigi: "Yeah…I guess so…"

Waluigi: "Come on, Wario! Let's go!"

Wario: "Wait, I wanna push this button!"

Wario leaned towards a bigger-than-normal red, flashing button. It read: "WARNING: ONLY IN CASE OF SERIOUS DANGER, OR CLOWN INVASION." Wario was tempted.

Waluigi: "Wait, it-a-says warning, you idiot!"

Wario: "Must…push…"

And so it was done. But, when he pushed it, the part of the castle they were in started to shake.

Waluigi: "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

DK: "Whoa! What the hell is that!?"

Diddy: "I have to say it again. Your ass is what it was."

Dixie: "Oh my gawd…whoa!! It's getting shakier!!!"

They couldn't maintain balance.

DK: "RUN! COME ON!!! THIS WAY!!!"

Everyone all ran backwards, retracing their steps, or something. But then…

An explosion.


	10. Daisy vs Peach, Duel of Death

_**I'm so bored...so much writer's block, or not... **_

_**And Peach still has anger issues…**_

"_**NO I DON'T!"**_

_**Last time…**_

_**They couldn't maintain balance.**_

_**DK: "RUN! COME ON!!! THIS WAY!!!"**_

_**Everyone all ran backwards, retracing their steps, or something. But then…**_

_**An explosion.**_

Luigi: "Guys!!! Did you hear that!?"

Mario: "Yeah…I wonder what-a-that was?"

Peach: "Hmm…it's getting closer…"

Yoshi: "Oh my gawd!!! LOOK!"

Yoshi pointed behind Toad. There was a blast of fire, containing DK, Diddy, Dixie, and the dead bodies of Junior, Roy, Ludwig, Lemmy, Iggy, Morton, and Wendy. What happened to them? Who knows…

Toad: "RUN YOU DUMBASS DINOSAUR!!!"

Yoshi: "WHAT'D YOU CALL ME!?"

Yoshi continued to rant.

Toad: "Dude, it's getting closer!!!"

Waluigi: "WATCH OUT!!! RUN!!!"

Too late. Due to Yoshi's cursing and ranting, Toad and Yoshi were caught in the blast. Everyone was riding on the front, somehow living…

Wario: "Heh…hi guys…"

Toad: "What'd you do, Wario…"

Waluigi: "Idiot pushed a button…"

Diddy: "Oh, you're gonna get it! If we die, we're gonna have a fun time in hell!!!"

Wario: "…I just crapped in-a-my pants…"

Daisy: "Guys, it sounds like it's even closer now."

Mario: "We stopped caring like one second ago."

"I'm back from…somewhere!"

Kammy floated into the scene, now sober.

Kammy: "What'd I miss?"

Luigi: "Umm…let's see…not too much…"

Kammy: "Where's Bowser?"

Mario: "Fatty? Oh, he's out there." He pointed to the door.

Kammy: "Okay…"

Mario: "Oh and he's dead. Peach killed him again."

"DAMMIT!"

She quickly sped off, to revive her fallen master. Meanwhile…

DK: "So…are we gonna hit something soon?"

Dixie: "I broke a nail!"

Diddy: "Who really could care?"

Wario: "Waluigi…if we don't make it…I just wanted to say…"

0.o

Waluigi: "EVERYBODY, LOOK!!!"

They speedily approached a wall. The wall where Bowser and Kammy stood.

Bowser: "What just happened…"

Kammy: "Peach."

"Oh…okay…hey…you hear that?"

Kammy: "No…why? Oh, wait-

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy all ran in front of them.

Luigi: "Hey guys, look what-

Bowser: "LOOK OUT!!!"

Diddy: "Banana-fuc-

Again, too late. The explosion hit, causing bodies to fly into the boardroom. Everyone now lay in different places. All were dead. Except for Bowser, who hid in his shell the whole time, and Kammy, who teleported away and back.

Bowser: "What…what the hell…what in the world just happened…everyone's dead…"

Kammy: "That's great, Master!"

Bowser: "But it wasn't ME who did it!"

Kammy: "Oh…well…should I-

Bowser: "Yes…"

Kammy: "Ooookay then…"

.:Some time later:.

Everyone now alive and healthy (sort-of), they all stood in the middle of the boardroom.

Toad: "Hey…I remember what just happened…WARIO, YOU ASS!"

Wario: "My mind LOVES to press buttons! It's-a-not my fault!"

Waluigi: "Well then…can we go do SOMETHING now?"

Mario: "Whoa! Where'd I get all these coins from!?" He stared at his stash, currently sitting out on the floor, due to Luigi.

Kammy: "I didn't do that. Anyone?"

Yoshi: "I think I could use this..."

Toad: "Think so?"

Yoshi: "I hope so, 'cause if I lose all my hard-earned coins, I'll kill you and everyone else in this room."

Toad: "Makes sense to me! You have a job?"

Yoshi: "No. I steal them."

"Oh."

DK: "I could buy a lot of bananas with this! Yay bananas!"

Diddy: "Maybe Yoshi will let me have some weed if I give him my share…" He mumbled.

Dixie: "What?"

Diddy: "What uncle said, bananas…"

Barney: "Kay, back to the board now, everyone, eh-yuck!" He giggled.

They all began to yell "NO", but, being bored, decided to do it anyway, returning to their spots.

Peach: "Why is Barney here?"

Luigi: "Who's turn is it, again?"

Daisy: "MINE!"

She jumped, pounding the dice block. Out sprouted a 1.

"……One."

She landed on a duel space. What a coincidence.

Bowser: "Alright, a duel! Kammy, spin the wheel!"

Kammy: "Alright…"

She did so, and it started. Everyone's faces spun around in circles.

Kammy: "Okay, Daisy, take this dart, and whoever it lands on, you duel for half their coins..."

Daisy: "Okay…"

She threw it, and it landed on none other than Peach.

Daisy: "Yay! What'll the game be, come on!"

Kammy: "Let me spin the wheel first…"

She spun another wheel, containing many mini-games. The one it landed on was called "Mario Challenge".

Peach: "Mario?"

Bowser: "I got some ideas from people…and now, we got the stupid plumber's!"

Mario: "…Damn you…Okay, here are the rules. You two are gonna be fighting each other, whacking each other with-a-hard poles. You're gonna be balancing on a big, long pole, too. There are spikes at the bottom of-a-the field. Whoever loses…well…yeah…"

Daisy: "ARE YOU CRAZY!?"

Mario: "AND…bra and panties only!"

Peach: "MARIO!! WHAT THE HELL!!!"

Yoshi: "Nice choice, Mario! Love it!"

Luigi: "Definitely better than mine!!!"

Mario: "Yours was-

Luigi: "Don't say it yet!"

Kammy: "Here we go!"

Then, all were teleported to a gigantic room, with pictures of Peach and Daisy with only bras and panties on.

Wario: "Wow, this is sexy!"

Yoshi: "Pervert…" Yoshi glared at the wall thoroughly.

Mario: "Guys, look up."

Above them, Peach and Daisy, almost naked, shook in fear as they balanced themselves on a long pole, handling another…pole…as Mario described. Below was a set of spikes.

Peach: "Oh my…I'm afraid of heights!"

Daisy: "I'm not…"

Mario: "Don't worry, you'll be fine!"

"What!? Fine!? Shut up!"

Mario: "Okay, girls, are ya ready!?"

"NO!"

"GO!!!"

It was on. Daisy was a very determined person. She steadily walked towards Peach, and gave her a soft push.

"Aww, come on, Peach. What's wrong? Even if you do die, you'll come back. Fight!"

"I…I'm afraid…"

"I guess a little princess WOULD be afraid…"

"Hey, you're one too…"

"Especially if you need Mario to save you…"

"But I-

"And I bet you love to have to be saved because you're too-

"Shut up!"

Peach took a solid strike to Daisy's hip. She lost balance, but regained it, and remained calm.

Luigi: "Wow, this seems a little intense…"

Toad: "Hey, I think Peach's getting mad…"

Mario: "Go Princess! Beat the shit outta her!"

DK: "I think this is a little too…crazy!!!"

Wario: "Work it, ladies!"

Diddy: "You're just a fat little perv! Fuck you!!!"

Barney: "Why can't we be friends…?"

Diddy: "BARNEY!!! What the fuck!!!"

Meanwhile, up top…

"Hit me, Peach!"

"Shut up!" She swiped at Daisy's feet, but she jumped and dodged it.

"Come on, fight like a woman!"

"Shut up!" She tried for her side, but Daisy shifted backwards.

"Hit me!"

"SHUT UP!!!!"

Darth Vader floated in on the action.

D.V: "There is not enough hate in you, my apprentice…you must feel anger…feel it burn inside of you…feel-

Peach: "Fuck you, I can figure out how to kill without a saber!"

He was struck down to the bottom by a pole, impaled by the spikes.

Below, everyone started to get a little frightened…

Dixie: "Uh, guys, women don't like to be messed with like this…and Peach…she's…well…Peach…"

Mario: "Yeah…we figured that out ourselves…I mean, we have to live with her…"

Bowser: "She killed me at least four times by now!!!"

Waluigi: "Hey, look! She's-a-tiring!"

Peach breathed a bit heavily now, due to the fact that she missed almost every shot, while Daisy hasn't even tried.

"What's wrong, Peach? You tired?"

"No…shut up, Daisy…!"

"You can't fight, you never could. Heh, you're just a little wimpy girl!"

She blew a raspberry at Peach, and closed her eyes.

Luigi: "Wow, Daisy's really givin it to her…"

DK: "Come on, Daisy, FINISH HER!"

"That's my line!"

Mario: "I wonder what's on t-v…"

Toad: "Hey guys, look!"

Peach slung the pole onto her shoulder, grasping it with two hands. She leapt into the air, and struck down with a powerful hit, clobbering Daisy and sending her downwards. Although, Peach missed the pole, and fell with her.

"WHOOPSIE!!!"

DK: "Oh crap! They're both fallin!"

And soon, both let out a scream of pain, as spikes impaled their bodies, killing them on the spot. Blood splattered onto the walls and the others.

"FATALITY...!"  
"DOUBLE-WHOOPSIE!!!"

Dixie: "Ick! Disgusting!!!"

Luigi: "Mario…eww…you got…"

Mario: "Wha!?"

Luigi: "Never mind…"

A bit of brain hung from Mario's hat.

Bowser: "No one won! HA!"

DK: "Okay…fine…tie…"

Diddy: "Damn that was hot and creepy…"

Wario: "You can say that again…"

Diddy: "I don't wanna!"

Yoshi: "So, whaddaya think?"

Toad: "About what?"

Yoshi: "Oh…never mind…"

Kammy: "Well, looks like the scare-fest is over. Better bring them back…"

.:Some time later:.

Peach: "Daisy, what the hell was that for!? You didn't have to be so…MEAN!!!"

Daisy: "Well…sorry…but a woman needs to stick up for herself. And fight to survive when it means falling onto a set of spikes."

Kammy: "Okay…so…where were we?"

Toad: "Somewhere around the next turn…"

Kammy: "Alright, so who is it?"

Peach: "ME!"

Excited, Peach jumped and punched her block. Out came a 5.

"One…two…three…four…five…"

She landed on a red space. She sighed, and resumed to her usual state, as three coins were deducted from her revenue.

Kammy: "Seems there'll be a mini-game this time."

She spun the wheel, and it continued for 10 seconds or so. Then it stopped on what was a dark skull with crossbones.

Mario: "What the…what's that mean!?"  
Kammy: "Well…it seems…we've taken on a game called…Dark Room."

Luigi: "Eh? That sounds…weird…"

Kammy: "And it gets worse…"

Meanwhile, outside of the room…a group of toads stood, where it appeared to be a t.v. show live. A toad stood in front of a camera, standing next to two others.

ReportToad: "Okay, viewers out there, we've just learned that Mario and his friends are now having a one of their famous Parties, and we're in on it! Two koopas informed us of the event."

Koopa #1: "Yeah, these guys are drinking, and doing weird stuff! Oh and it's Bowser Party. Kingy's hostin it."

Koopa #2: "It's creepy. We found dead bodies."

ReportToad: "Oh-ho, so the evil Bowser is hosting this one, eh? Explains the castle, don't it!? So, soon, we'll be taking you in on this party, getting all the info! Stay tuned!"

CameraToad: "Okay, we're off-line."

ReportToad: "Good…I need a break…Hey, get in touch with the police, just in case!"

Koopa #1: "Wow, they completely ignored the whole "dead bodies" thing…"

Koopa #2: "Yeah…let's go see what they're doing!"

"At least I have chicken."

…


	11. Author's Note

I personally think this story has been absolute HELLISH SHIT! BUT! Seeing as you guys are reviewing…I decided to come back to this story. So be happy, perverts.

Read the last chapter to refresh your minds!


	12. Delfino's a Bitch!

I'm back

_**I'm back! So yeah…I think some of the earlier chapters are retarded. 'm turning this into story format because I hate complicating the lines, plus it's against the rules...I'm too lazy right now to see who is still left in the story, so If I leave out any characters, tell me. **_

_**MURF**_

"Okay, so…" Kammy started. "Where were we?"  
"Ya forgot already!?" Waluigi complained. "Somethin' called 'Dark Room'."

"Oh yes. Well it's only been what, almost a YEAR since we-Anyway, let's start!"

She waved her magical wand once more, with triangle, circle, and square surrounding it, and sparks flew out, the shapes disappearing.

"AND…nothing happened." DK said, and munched on a banana.

"My wand is out of power. I need to charge it."

"What kind of wand is that if it needs to be charged!?" Daisy asked.

"Well excuuuuse me, prin-

"OVERUSED LINE! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Diddy screamed. It really was overused.

"Really, how DO you raise your kids?" Luigi asked DK, as if DK were crazy.

"They…ya know, I really don't even know them that well…"

"You ARE a bad father!"

"I'm an UNCLE!"

"Same damn difference!"

"ANYWAY…" Kammy continued, "How will the game go on now?"

"I have an idea!" Peach answered, and tripped in her somewhat drunken state, trying to give a small toy to Kammy, but instead smacking her in the face with it. "Oops."

"Ouch…Bitch…" She mumbled. "What is it?"

"IT'S A GAME BOY!" A giddy Toad answered. "I have one at home!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Yoshi asked.

"How do I work this thing?" Kammy questioned Peach, fiddling with the buttons and directional pad. "I hate technology!"

"You old hag, you need to wake up!" Bowser scolded her.

"Just give it to me." Toad snatched it away. She just sat in a nearby chair and watched Toad "work it". "Well, this thing already has a random game thingy, so just press A to start it, and B to stop it. And then, when you get to the screen with the game on it, press A to start, or B for practice."

"Okay, seems simple enough. So what now? Who's up?" Mario asked.

"I…I lost count. Just someone volunteer to go and I won't let you go again until everyone has."

"Okay." They all replied to Kammy.

And a "Fuck you" most likely coming from Diddy.

"I'll-a-go first!" Mario stepped forward. "But…where was I?"

"Who fucking cares, start from the beginning!" Said Diddy, again.

"And where is the board?"

"Make a new one, dammit! Toad!" Diddy shook him wild, and hissed at him, "Dooooo iiiit!"

"Umm…alright…" He inputted a series of commands. "Does it matte-

"NO DAMMIT!"

"Alright!"

One push of the A button and Delfino appeared on the screen. "Here comes Delfino Plaza!"

In an instant, the floor had turned to nothing, and Delfino was what they saw.

"FUCK! NOT AGAIN!" Mario shrieked. 

Everyone fell into an abyss of blue, clear skies, obviously not where they had been before. And there was nothing to break their fall.

"This is getting REALLY annoying!" Peach screamed out.

"DEAL WITH IT, WOMAN!" Mario shrieked again.

"WHAT!?"  
"I, SAID, DEAL-

"SHUT UP!"

BAM! They all smacked into hard pavement. Wario, who had been in the bathroom, and with his pants down, was impaled by a statue; in the head.

Everyone else…just had minor injuries.

"I CAN SEE MY SPINE!!"

Kammy safely landed on her chair, and only had a sore rear.

"Oh…does this "Game Boy" have healing properties?" She asked Toad, who was pretty close to dead. His mushroom cap was torn halfway through, revealing some of his tiny brain.

"Y-yes…hurry…do something before I start screaming…"

"And how would I do that?"

"It says "Heal" right on the…screen…!" He gasped.

"So how do I push it?" She asked stupidly.

"Press-

"Wha? What do I press?"

He already died, along with everyone else. Kammy just continued to stare.

"You didn't tell me what to do!"

"OH MAH GAWD, WHAT DID YOU DO!!"

Some locals happened to notice everyone dead on the street, right in front of a fruit stand. How did they not notice them in the sky? Some watermelon turned into bloody, slushy ice-cream.

"I didn't do it!" Kammy answered immediately. Most of the natives started to question her. Like why their statue now had a dead, naked, fat man on it. But that was not important.

"Then what caused this!? Global warming!?" One asked, bearing a child and a set of fruit.

"Der…If I say yes, will you believe me?" Kammy asked back.

"Probably."

"Then YES!"  
"You're crazy!"

"NO, all I need to do is find out how to use this Game Boy."

"AND you're retarded!"

Ignoring that last comment, she fiddled some more with the GB, until finally, after pressing everything at once, everyone came back to life. And the Natives couldn't have been frightened more now then ever.

"How many times have I had to revive everyone!?"

"Does it FUCKING matter!?" Diddy answered, as harshly as usual.

"Really. Please? With the language?" A purple Native asked. "How old are you anyway?"  
"I'M-…Ya know, I really have no idea. But I CAN tell you that I recently showed signs of puberty." They stared in horror.

"…Thank you for informing us on monkey behavior."

"You're not welcome!"

While Diddy argued with them, everyone else started to concoct ideas and plans on how to continue. Wario was harassing some of the Natives, and also the judge of the court Mario was sentenced in while spending his "Vacation" here.

"I heard this place was used a lot for vacation and tourism, but I never visited." Daisy started conversation.

"Delfino is annoying. It's boring, there's always people and things that attack me and throw shit at me, and Bowser here gave me a bad reputation. They still hate me after we solved the problem!" Mario complained, upset from the start. Someone threw a melon at him. "See?"

"That's your stupid fault." Bowser countered, but no hit. Someone was still throwing fruit.

"FUCKING STOP!" Diddy, who angered the Islanders, retreated and blocked his head to avoid all of the fruit flying at him.

"How dare you touch me like that!" A woman chased him with fruit and a long stick.

"That's what he gets for being a d-OW!" Yoshi was bonked on the head by a giant orange. "You assholes!" He picked it up, ate it, and spit juice at them; and to no effect, either, only making them shake and make displeased noises.

"We should try and make peace now, this is getting so annoying." Luigi suggested. "Or leave, at least.

"Der…" All thought in unison. "Okay."

"WAIT!" DK interrupted. "What happened to that TV-

He was interrupted this time by the same crew taping the event live, quickly descending on a helicopter. It almost crashed because the pilot does drugs during flight to keep calm due to aviation-related fears. Luckily someone took over.

"GREAT, these guys are back!?" Daisy complained, and fiddled with her hair until it was perfectly the same. Everyone had forgotten they were on TV because of how random the party was getting.  
"Let's get a move on so things can get somewhat interesting, and I'm sure that the TV peoples want to talk to viewers like they're five-year-olds." Luigi suggested again. Waluigi slapped him. "What was that for!?"

"For suggesting something when we don't even know who you are, Luigi."

"B-…Alright, can we go n-STOP IT!" Luigi, after being slapped twice, was fed up with everything.  
"Fine. Let's go then." Kammy led everyone to the middle of town, where the giant Shine Sprite was located. Diddy was still arguing with locals on the way. Where's Wario?

Maybe they would have to clean up graffiti by traveling through graffiti portals?

_**ANYWAY, just finishing this chapter to start things up again. Thanks to whoever is still reading, and review!**_


End file.
